5 ways to get closer to your community : NPR

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People say it takes a village to do difficult things: raise a child, sustain a community, build a barn.

But we don’t often talk about what it takes to be a villagers. What does it mean to not just be in a community, but to help create one?

Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matterssays the key is to show up, even if it’s scary. “The best way to sit at the table is to host the table.”

As a conflict resolution facilitator, Parker spends a lot of time thinking about how people interact with each other. She shares tips on how to foster meaningful connections with those around you, so you can have people to lean on in good times and bad.

Organize gatherings that you would have would like to attend. The idea is to create the community you want to be a part of, Parker says.

If you’re not sure what activity to do, notice the times in your life when you felt the most joy and connection, she says. Was it playing kickball with friends? Start a kickball league. Are you experimenting with watercolor? Invite your best friends for an art evening.

Don’t be afraid to think outside the box, Parker says. “Honestly, the sillier the better.” One of his Substack subscribers shared an example. Inspired by a tomato pie recipe, she invited six friends over for a tomato-themed dinner, complete with red outfits and tomato-centric conversation starters.

Find a co-host. If the hubbub of hosting seems too much, find a few people to help you take on responsibilities. Guests can also share tasks. Parker suggests assigning people fun roles throughout the event – ​​for example: water glass refill Or towel dispenser. Everyone feels involved – and you can stress a little less.

Find your “yes” friends. They are reliable people who you enjoy being with and who are willing to try something new. Team up to meet more people in your community, whether by joining a new sports league or hosting a small dinner party. This makes the process of building a village a shared adventure.

Become a regular. Start showing up in spaces you love, like parks, gyms, or bookstores, with people who share your interests. Once you become a regular, others will remember you and you will be able to make friends.

Be a good guest. When attending events, be a considerate and kind guest. Whether you’re attending a poetry reading or a dinner with friends, take time to be thoughtful, such as checking in with the host, expressing gratitude, or simply being proactive about your RSVP. This will probably get you invited again!

More Ways to Be a Villager

Be a caring neighbor. How to connect to your community, practice small acts of kindness, and be neighborly when the going gets tough. Read the story.

Have a weekly dinner. Chef Samin Nosrat gives tips for ritualizing ongoing get-togethers with friends and shares his recipe for the ultimate garlic bread. Read the story.

Make new friends. Meeting new people can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. In this episode, you’ll learn from experts how to make new friends and deepen your existing relationships. Read the story.

Ask a magic question. Asking a creative question can help reveal people’s personalities. Priya Parker shares her favorites and how to make your own. Read the story.

We want to hear from you

Tell us how you grew your village and what you do to be a good steward of your community. Send us an email at lifekit@npr.org with your full name and story, and we can publish your response on NPR.org.

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The story was edited by Clare Marie Schneider and Malaka Gharib, with art direction by Beck Harlan. We would love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823 or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.

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