Brent Venables leads top quotes from college football Week 13

There’s not much coaches love more than winning. But adding an exclamation point after a victory on the press conference podium is always a nice bonus.

This weekend, many coaches had the chance to hold court with post-game statements following big wins. From praising resilience to abandoning the playbook, the themes varied, but one thing remained constant: the joy of being 1-0 this week.

Here are some of the best jokes from the world of college football in Week 13.

“It’s not pretty, but it’s not a beauty pageant. It’s football.” — Oklahoma HC Brent Venables

Oklahoma remained in control to host a College Football Playoff game Saturday, stifling Missouri’s offense en route to a 17-6 home victory. The Tigers outshot the Sooners in total yardage 301-276, but a dominant second half from Oklahoma’s defense kept the visitors at arm’s length.

Venables, a former defensive coordinator, certainly didn’t care about the game’s low score. While it may not have been the most aesthetically pleasing game, Venables was more interested in the functional outcome.

“Every race he does feels like a car crash at the end.” – Matt Campbell, Iowa State football player

A four-game losing streak appeared to put Iowa State’s season on the skids midway through fall, but the undeterred Cyclones earned their second straight victory Saturday against Kansas to record their eighth seven-win season in the last nine years under Campbell.

A big part of the win was running back Carson Hansen, who was a deadly presence as Iowa State racked up 221 total rushing yards. Hansen accounted for 120 of those yards on 22 carries, also adding a touchdown. Campbell had an interesting description of Hansen’s runs after the Cyclones’ victory.

“He’s the only guy on our team who doesn’t want any contact.” –NC State HC Dave Doeren

One of the wildest plays of the week took place Friday night, when a kick from Wolfpack punter Caden Noonkester hit the head of a Florida State player and returned to Noonkester to recover a live ball fumble.

After the game’s chaotic end, Doeren was amused by the chances that the improbable recovery would come from the least affected player on the roster — though perhaps it’s not surprising that Noonkester, listed at 6-foot-6, 215 pounds on NC State’s roster, was willing to put his body on the line for the game.

“Few people can survive what we went through.” — Louisiana HC Michael Desormeaux

A rough start to the season put Louisiana at 2-6 and on a three-game losing streak in late October, but three straight wins in November put the Ragin’ Cajuns on the verge of bowl eligibility heading into the final week of the season.

Desormeaux, an alumnus of the program who led Louisiana to a bowl game in each of his first three full seasons on the job, expressed pride in his team for keeping the fight going and responding to an adversity-laden start.

“You can’t make plays in the offseason…we have to run them all” –UNLV HC Dan Mullen

UNLV is on the cusp of a 10-win season in Dan Mullen’s debut campaign, rolling past Hawaii on Friday night for its third straight victory. The Rebels’ offense has been electric, with UNLV scoring 30 or more points in 10 of its 11 games this season.

Speaking about his offense’s performance against the Rainbow Warriors, Mullen had a simple answer as to why the Rebels seemed to have such a variety of plays available – with only a few games remaining in the season, there are only a limited number of opportunities left to clear the call sheet.

“If they don’t recruit him, they’re idiots.” — SMU HC Rhett Lashlee

The road to the ACC championship game may not be easy for SMU, but it’s there, and the Mustangs did their part to keep it open Saturday with an impressive 38-6 win over Louisville. Quarterback Kevin Jennings threw for 303 yards and three touchdowns, and added another on the ground, but Lashlee also had strong support from another player — tight end Matthew Hibner — at the ready during his postgame media availability.

Hibner had four catches for 58 yards in the win, and Lashlee sounded confident about his future in the professional ranks — noting that there aren’t many idiots recruiting for NFL teams.

“It’s not our fault. Well, maybe it’s our fault.” – Dan Lanning, Oregon HC

Oregon faced a tricky test Saturday, hosting No. 15-ranked USC in Eugene for the penultimate week of the regular season. The Ducks managed to keep their own playoff dreams intact, amassing 436 total yards of offense in a 42-27 victory.

Discussing the quality of the opponent after the game, Lanning acknowledged Oregon’s inherent role in a no-win scenario: When the Ducks beat a ranked team, the loss means that team’s aforementioned ranking then decreases.