You need to listen to these Christmas deep cuts
It’s the holiday season and Christmas music is absolutely essential. Listen, I love Mariah Carey and Wham! As much as the next guy. But at some point we get Really tired of hearing the same handful of Christmas songs over and over again. So here are 10 suggestions to add to your holiday playlist, which we hope are a little less obvious.
Tom Waits – Christmas Card from a Whore in Minneapolis
There’s a long history of depressing Christmas songs, from Dolly Parton’s “Hard Candy Christmas” to the Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York.” But there’s no Christmas song more sure to bring down the party than “Christmas Card from a Whore in Minneapolis.” The reveal at the end is the kind of thing that will have everyone putting the presents back under the tree because they’re too depressed to open anything.
Lindstrøm – Little drummer boy
I love the classic Bing Crosby and David Bowie version of this song, but I’ve heard it a billion times. Lindstrøm embraces the relentlessness of the marching drum beat, transforming the melody into a hypnotic slow burn that gradually builds into a spacey disco panic. There are various versions of this track, ranging from less than five minutes to the 20-minute version embedded above (which is probably the perfect version for your holiday playlist). However, I am partial to the full 42 minute rendition.
Axel Boman – Extreme vacation
It’s the calm counterpoint of the descent to Lindstrøm’s piece above. All meditative synths, bells and relaxing vibes bounce gently. If all you want for Christmas is a zen trance state, then queue this song up.
Screwed – David Noël
There aren’t enough hardcore holiday songs in my opinion. The titular David of “David Christmas” eventually became the central character of Fucked Up’s groundbreaking rock opera. David comes to life. “David Christmas” contains jingle bells, references to the Grinch and the first Christmas. It’s the rare Christmas song that will make you try to make a circle around the tree.
They could be giants – Santa’s Beard
There are a strange number of Christmas songs about infidelity. (See Clarence Carter’s “Back Door Santa” and, at least from the child’s perspective, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”) But They Might Be Giants’ “Santa’s Bear” is a lesser-known film that combines the duo’s characteristic irreverence with the story of a woman flaunting her extramarital affair in front of her husband. Oh, and his side piece is dressed as Santa.
I’m just going to say it: American holiday folklore is boring. Germany and Central Europe have Krampus, the Welsh have Mari Lwyd, and Iceland has Jólakötturinn, or the Christmas Cat. Jólakötturinn is a huge feline that roams the countryside and devours people who don’t receive new clothes for Christmas. Apparently, this is supposed to encourage hard work and preparation. In 1988, Björk, Iceland’s top exporter, recorded a song about this creature which includes festive lines such as:
Her needle-point hair
His back was high and rounded
And the claws on his hairy paw
It wasn’t a pretty sight
Low – Like Christmas
Slowcore pioneers Low released an entire Christmas album in 1999, aptly titled Christmas. “Just Like Christmas” is probably the most accessible song on the record, and it moves at a faster pace than most of the band’s material. It still showcases the band’s ear for delicate melodies and the late Mimi Parker’s intimate vocals, before fading away as dripping avalanches of drums crash around her.
Magnetic Fields – Everything is a Big Christmas Tree
A delightful song about telling someone to relax and have fun.
Stop mumbling and cheer up
Put down the book, grab the beer
Why sit in your dark and lonely room?
Does every word you say have to be sincere?
Plus, casually calling Santa “Sandy” is perfection.
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings – There Ain’t No Chimneys in the Projects
A modern entry into the pantheon of Christmas soul that can rival James Brown’s “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto.” “Ain’t No Chimneys in the Projects” has groove to spare, killer strings and one of the best horn sections in the business. It’s a fairly short song about how the magic of Christmas is provided by hard-working parents, not a jolly weirdo in a red suit.
100 gecs – sympathy 4 the grinch
We’ve all had disappointing holidays where we didn’t receive the gifts we wanted. 100 Gecs embraces the fantasy of getting revenge on Santa and taking what you want in this zany hyperpoppunk song. It’s an absolute blast with a singing “la-la-la” post-chorus. But I might not play this one for your ungrateful children.
