Adult daughter’s job struggles keep mother from finding happiness – New York Daily News

Dear Eric: I live in an apartment with my 22-year-old daughter. She had a really bad experience in high school that was interrupted by Covid, so remote learning didn’t go well either. She eventually graduated but has since been unable to find a job. It’s been about a year and a half now. She applies but doesn’t even get an interview.

This is going to sound selfish, but I want to move in with my boyfriend of seven years so we can start living our lives together (we don’t currently live together). I know my daughter is an adult, but she is far from self-sufficient and doesn’t earn money to pay rent, bills, and groceries.

I can’t throw her out on the street; I don’t want to see her struggle like this. I can’t take him with us because they don’t get along. I’m at a bit of a loss here because I don’t know how to change my situation so that I can go with my boyfriend and also make sure that my daughter can take care of herself. Please help me.

– Feeling helpless

Dear Feeling Helpless: Bring your daughter into this conversation. Be honest with her about your goals and ask her what her goals are. And then work together to come up with a plan. It’s kind and loving of you to provide for her as she struggles to become independent. But it will actually empower you to engage him, adult to adult. She will need these skills whether or not she gets a job.

Maybe she needs training in a specific area or continuing education; maybe she can scrape together the income from her on-demand work. There may be other relatives or friends she can help in exchange for money or accommodation. I’m not saying this will be an easy process for her or for you. But something needs to change in his life, and you want something to change in your life. The first step is to ask: “What are you going to do and how can I help you?” »

Dear Eric: I have a soft voice that has been criticized by many. I took a required speech therapy class in college, and the instructor made up an emergency and asked if anyone would believe me if I told him about it.

I heard my principal say to a colleague, “It’s surprising she had any control over her (elementary) class with that voice.” » I’m so tired of being criticized by others. Sometimes I have to start saying something three or four times before people will listen. Sometimes I give up. Sometimes I feel like I should act like a child, raise my hand and wait to be called. Help!

– Quiet as a mouse

Dear Quiet: Despite what your principal has said, I assume you are in control of your elementary school class. You have developed tactics that do not depend on the volume of your voice. Give yourself credit for finding other ways to get attention, teach material, and maintain order. There may be ways to apply some of your classroom skills to other areas of life.

Also consider a class or training with a vocal coach or acting teacher. The voice is an instrument and, like any other instrument, “loud” is not always the best setting. Consider a piccolo or clarinet; when played correctly, they can be quite striking without too much volume. Likewise, a trained voice teacher can work with your specific instrument, showing you its characteristics – your vocal chords, your diaphragm, your breathing, etc. – and guide you in ways to use it effectively without having to shout.

Dear Eric: My husband and I enjoy hosting dinners and cards with other couples. A few other friends also return the favor. I found this cringe worthy because they don’t want to play a game that requires thinking. It is a game that relies solely on the luck of the draw.

I tried to suggest different fun games several times. Sometimes I demonstrate the game to try to generate interest by explaining strategies that could be used. This creates disinterest. What can I do?

– Go fishing

Dear Go Fish: When hosting an event, you may need to stop the card games or apologize. Or accept it. It’s not for nothing that they like a relatively simple game. Maybe they focus more on camaraderie than strategy. Game night can be a tricky business. It’s sometimes difficult to find people who all share their desire for gameplay and strategy. If you enjoy their company, it’s best to accept that they are happy to go fishing and join them in the pond.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

©2026 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.