Beards may be dirtier than toilets – but all men should grow one | Polly Hudson

IThis is a practical truth of our time that if you google on Google long, you will eventually find the answer you want. In other words, there is a lot of anti-hairy propaganda there, and I don’t fall for nothing. I love beards. So I continue to scroll.

Pass the recent Washington Post report that certain toilets contain fewer germs than the average beard (it is almost true for telephone screens, and we rub them happily on our faces). He does not even take a break on an investigation to find out if it would be hygienic to scan canines and humans in the same MRI machine, which revealed that most of the beards contained more microbes and bacteria than dog fur. La la la, I don’t listen to.

Finally, a link that deserves to be clicked – a researcher from the University of Leicester provides a more nuanced image – alias my truth. Freestone Primrose, lecturer in clinical microbiology, says: “The microbial population on the skin varies according to the location and is influenced by factors such as temperature, pH, humidity and availability of nutrients.” She emphasizes that regular washing “eliminates dirt, oils, allergens and dead skin, helping to prevent microbial accumulation”.

Phew. Although the germs are damned, nothing could discourage me anyway. All men seem better with the beard and I will die on this hill; My husband instantly resembles a real estate agent without his. The beards also give men an easy advantage in life (come on, they needed it): those who with them are instinctively more reliable than their bat -head counterparts.

I would go so far as to suggest that men without beard are ungrateful. If you are able, why don’t you adopt an aesthetic that requires less effort than the alternative – as in, literally no effort – and will not only make you more beautiful in general, but also, as years pass, what was previously your jaw? Beards are free and painless plastic surgery. A little hairy shine, mostly available, regardless of wealth or status. The big leveler, just under your nose all this time. Really rude not to do it.

Polly Hudson is an independent writer