Crying in the Commons: why are women’s workplace tears a source of shame? | Rachel Reeves

RThe tears of Achel Reeves triggered a fall in the pound and attracted the generalized derision of political columnists, mainly men. “What is the problem with Rachel Reeves?” Asked the telegraph. In an article, the title “The Sense of Chancellor’s tears”, a new columnist of statesman told readers that the authority of Reeves “began to melt”. The Daily Mail spoke disdainfully of its “waterworks”.

But in the longer term, the Chancellor’s distress display can prove to have an unexpected positive heritage, usefully normalizing a phenomenon still extremely stigmatized: the tears of women in the workplace.

Until now, explosions in tears at work have been mainly mired in shame, the source of acute embarrassment. The live broadcast of this week of the Chancellor’s silent tears could help move the taboo, highlighting a little discussed truth: sometimes women cry at work, and it does not matter.

Reeves reflects on his own tears with a shoulder to a day later. “People saw that I was upset, but it was yesterday. Today, it’s a new day and I’m just going bankrupt with work,” she said on Thursday. She refused to explain what had encouraged her distress, simply describing her as a personal problem and refusing to go into details. Within 24 hours, the markets had rebounded with Prime Minister’s insurance, Keir Starmer, that she would remain in her long -term work.

Obviously, it is far from ideal to be filmed in tears during the most watched exchanges of the week in the House of Commons, but ministerial jobs are extremely difficult. Some of the male predecessors of Reeves have shown the tension of their roles in a more extreme way, while attracting less attention, because their behavior is classified as routine and acceptable machismo.

When former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was exhausted and under pressure, he was known to be subject to volcanic eruptions. A biographer described how Brown would stab the seat of the ministerial jaguar with his pen to Fury. Bloomberg reported that a new assistant had been warned to pay attention to “Flying Nokias” when he joined the Brown team (although a Brown spokesman said at the time that it was “not an account that I recognize”).

Reeves tears were widely considered a sign that it lost control. Brown’s fury has been forgiven by many as a regrettable oddity displayed by a pressure leader.

Research systematically confirms what we instinctively know: that women cry more frequently than men. It therefore goes without saying that, as we see more women in high direction roles, the sight of a powerful woman in tears should become less remarkable. It would be strange to celebrate it, because it is an exhausting and often mortifying phenomenon, but the explosion of reeves can help it be better understood as a simple different way of expressing professional frustration or responding to pressure.

The survey led by Yougov in the United Kingdom revealed that 34% of men claimed not to have cried from the previous year, against only 7% of women; 18% of women said they cried at least once a week, compared to only 4% of men. The behavior varies between cultures, but this remains a largely global phenomenon: a 2011 study of 5,715 participants from 37 countries found women were more prone to crying and were more likely to have cried recently.

This week, the former Germany chief, Angela Merkel, revealed that she “had broken out by crying for pressure” during a meeting with the president of the time in the United States, Barack Obama, on how to manage the debt crisis in Greece in 2015. Theresa May was on the verge of tears when she resigned as British Prime Minister in May 2019 have been the subject of people who have been attempted by grant and lips that have been the subject of an edition of Street outside of Downing Street. The honor of his life “serve the country I love”. Margaret Thatcher was in tears when she was driven out of Downing Street in 1990. On the other hand, David Cameron buzzed inside n ° 10 after his speech of resignation in 2016.

Obama occasionally cried when the president, but it was mainly worthy opportunities, caused by the memory of tragic events, such as schoolchildren’s shots during a speech on firearm control. His tears were not the unattractive and uncontrollable variety, disorderly and humiliating, but were mainly considered as expressions laudable from his humanity. Vladimir Putin appeared emotional a decade ago during a sweet rock song honoring the bravery of the Russian police forces, but it is also a different type of tears.

Political behavior in Great Britain was slow to change, despite the rapid composition of the municipalities. In 2024, the United Kingdom elected the greatest number of female deputies of all time. There are now 264 women in the municipalities, holding 41% of the 650 seats. Since the 1997 Labor Party election has seen the proportion of women double from 9% to 18%, there has been a regular increase, but the combative culture of the institution has barely changed.

“We have had years of men screaming, laughing, grinding, even sleeping in this room, so we should not react excessively to a woman showing her frustration with a single tear,” said Penny East, the general manager of the Fawcett Society, a charitable organization in a feminist campaign. “It should not be interpreted as a sign that she is not up to her work. These criticisms feel riddled with sexism and stereotype. ”

Ask any female colleague, and they will probably reluctantly admit that they have fought with the challenge of retaining tears at work, often caused by professional frustration rather than sadness. I did it, during a difficult conversation with a publisher, looking up towards the ceiling and tackling the head back, hoping that gravity would suck the tears inside the conduits and that no one would notice it.

Women know that it can be professional harmful because crying remain classified as a sign of incompetence and weakness, an unacceptable manifestation of stress. A knowledge accomplished in a high -level role has been unjustly nicknamed tiny tears in private by its staff, because it has sometimes responded to difficult situations with involuntary tears. His colleagues knew less this demonstration of professional dissatisfaction that they could not have been with a demonstration of male anger.

Another woman described crying her third day during her new job as director general of a large organization. “It was not live on the media, but it was in an open office and I was surrounded by senior and junior staff. I do not compare my work remotely at the Chancellor’s work, but there was a huge burden of responsibility and I had to make difficult decisions, ”she said.

She was embarrassed by her own tears because she could see how uncomfortable her team made her team. “But I have not seen it as a loss of control. We must not assume that the displays of emotions represent a loss of control on the ability to do your job.” However, she thinks that the episode may have helped to gain respect for colleagues. “They could see that I really cared about what we were there to do.”

Although there is no difference in the amount that male and female babies cry, women cry more frequently than men due to a complex mixture of social conditioning and biology. Ad Vinggerhoets, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Tilburg in the Netherlands, studied the science of tears and notes that testosterone acts as a “brake” on the response to crying.

Sophie Scott, professor of cognitive neuroscience at the University College of London, specializing in the analysis of the way in which emotions are expressed by laughter and tears, said: “How we live and express our emotions is influenced by our biology and our way of growing.”

Scott made a distinction between tears produced following sadness and tears triggered by anger, noting that these tears of frustration and fury seemed to be more frequently something experience by women. “If you are angry and you feel that you cannot do something, there is a helpless and frustrated feeling that pushes you to tears,” she said.

Women seemed to find themselves more frequently fighting the tears of frustration than men, said Scott, adding that it could be because “angry and more aggressive answers are more acceptable in men”.

Unusually, the misery of Reeves was surprised playing over 30 minutes of the Prime Minister’s question session, allowing viewers a rare and uncomfortable vision of someone who tries and does not hold the flow, the lips contract and turn down. “A big difference between my work and many of your viewers is that when I spend a difficult day, it’s on TV, and most people don’t have to face it,” Reeves told BBC.

Scott said that many forms of tears were difficult to control, adding: “The tears are a very truthful signal. Once it has taken your hand, it is very difficult to stop it. It is involuntary.”

Rosie Campbell, professor of politics at King’s College in London, said that she was staggered in the negativity launched by Reeves tears. “In our society, women are more likely to cry. This is not that they are worse leaders, “she said. “I don’t want to see politicians cry in the room every day, but if this happens a few times in a parliamentary career, it should not be serious.

“I am more worried about emotionally repressed leaders than someone who realizes that the financial security of the nation is in their hands and they feel its weight.”