Dad With Two Toddlers Sends Off for DNA Test, Results ‘Shattered My World’

The world of a man was turned upside down when he discovered that he was not the biological father of his sons.

Jay Skibbens, from Illinois, already had a feeling of sinking when he sent two DNA kits. His sons were 15 months old and 30 months old, and he suspected that he was not their biological father.

“Discover … Broken me completely,” said Skibbens, 37 years old Nowsweek. “It also burst into a million pieces the definition I had to be a father in a million pieces. I really wondered if I was a dad.”

At the start, he did not treat the news well. “Anger was the first great emotion to go out,” he said. For a year, he directed this rage to the mother of their boys.

But the turning point came when Skibbens realized that anger ate him, not her.

“I was angry because I put myself in a position where it could happen,” he said. “I had only made decisions from my injuries, trying to make it choose because, if I could make it choose, then I would feel better in my skin. So I learned to feel better for me, no matter what she or other people were doing.”

Telling his sons the truth was an attentive process. Skibbens waited for them to be old enough to understand and made sure that their mother was ready to answer questions.

And as a person who did not know his biological father either, it created a unique bond between the three.

“I have no model for the fatherhood with which I grew up. It’s just something that has an impact on the three of us, by allowing almost nothing of the table,” said Skibbens.

Over time, he has rebuilt a relationship with his coparental. Today, with his sons now 9 and 11 years old, he is their main parent.

To abandon biology as well as the paternity measure made skibbens an unexpected gift.

“I have literally been able to create from a blank canvas,” he said. “And it is the ultimate freedom, while, at the same time, it forced me to decide for myself at each stage of the way in which I was doing was correct or sufficient.”

Now, as a co-parents’ life retarder, Skibbens has shared his advice that he often says to customers.

“Immediac is the enemy. You don’t have to respond immediately to almost everything.

Skibbens displayed four lessons he learned after the results of DNA tests by a coil on Instagram, which has raised more than 895,000 views and hundreds of comments.

The position sparked three main reactions: admiration for its responsibility; Affirmation that paternity goes beyond blood; And the criticism of certain men who considered his choice as a weakness.

But the skibbens remain unattainable. “I thought the choices of my copare have ruined my life,” he said. “But I really believe now that his choices have helped me put on the way that I was always supposed to be.”