My marriage is healthy – except for my wife’s total refusal to touch me | Life and style

After years without sexual intimacy with my wife, I I’m now cravThe comfort of somatic connection. Not real sexbut simply custracAnd be held close to naked. But MMarried there refused. I suggested us Try the therapy of “progressive desensitization”, that would imply Lying together, with an element of clothes removed, but with No physical contact. We were building from there knowing that this would not lead to sexual contacts. My wife, when I suggested it, It was not at all interested in this, And in fact, she was actively opposed.

She told me that the problem was in my head and that it had no interest in physical intimacy. She also said it was Normal for elderly women. I I told him that it was my impression that the elderly actually wanted to touch appropriate physical. She then agreed that I could Lie in her fully dressed bed before retiring in my own room. But it was just clumsy And humiliating In my opinionBecause it was obvious that she was Not at least invested in my presence. So I completely abandoned the idea. In all the others, our marriage is healthy. Sometimes I think I ask her if she could accept my research intimacy elsewhereBut I think it would lead to END of our marriage. I feel trapped – I like my wife but My resentment increases.

Your feeling of despair and sadness is understandable, and you deserve to be happier. Your needs are real and valid, but in truth, it is not a problem of sexuality; It is rather a power struggle that you lose. Your joint task would be to break the obstacles to fully see the human needs and struggles of the other, to invoke empathy and find common ground.

When two people are locked up in this kind of emotional “prison”, it is very difficult to see a way out. There can be a means, but the dead end is so well rooted that it is unlikely to be dissolved without the voluntary participation of you in a sort of mediation process – preferably counseling. Many couples do not have the communication and negotiation skills necessary to overcome such a problem without external help.

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