Your guide to family caregiving, from people who’ve been there : NPR

If you are caring for a sick or elderly adult, you are not alone. Millions more are there with you. They know how difficult it can be and want to share their wisdom.

When NPR asked caregivers to share their stories, nearly 600 responded with practical advice, hair-raising stories and plenty of hard-won expertise. (Share your own story here.)

As one said: “Dear, whatever doesn’t kill me, I’m strong enough now. Thank you.”

There are seasons in caregiving: long periods where things are relatively stable and phases of turmoil, where everything is happening at once. These suggestions can help you cope with crises and quiet periods.

Read through the following chapters to experience camaraderie and wise words from people who know what you’re going through.

The medical maze: how to help your person get through it

One of the first tasks adult caregivers face is learning the ropes of America’s crazy health care system. You’ll likely become both a patient advocate and a medical coordinator – two jobs with steep learning curves. Here’s what other caregivers have learned.

The new normal: This is not the life I planned. How can I adjust?

Caregiving is now your new normal. But fully accepting and adjusting to this new reality can take some time. Often this happens in waves – periods of calm interrupted by wild unrest. Here are tips for enduring these times.

Help! How to ask for (and accept) help

Tip #1 from other caregivers: Get help, whether it’s from a support group, a friend, other family, a therapist, your church, or all of the above. Providing care is too difficult and too isolating to do alone. As one caregiver said, most people start their job as if it were a sprint and only slowly realize they are in a marathon. Follow the advice of these caregivers to get the help you need.

Taking care of yourself: it’s essential and it’s not what you think

It’s not spa days and yoga classes. True self-care means learning to protect your mental and physical health despite the overwhelming demands on your time. Often this starts with setting boundaries and forgiving yourself. Find out what has worked for other caregivers.

Your New Relationship: Coping with Changing Dynamics

You are no longer just a partner, a spouse, a parent or a child. Now you’re also a caregiver, which changes your relationship with your loved one in ways that can be hard to detect and difficult to adjust to. These caregivers explain how they experienced the change.

Explore more resources

Taking on a family caregiver role can be overwhelming. Fortunately, there are organizations and resources to give you a helping hand. Here are some tips and starting points.