Having open conversations with boys is key to fending off the manosphere threat | Men’s health

It’s great to see that there are young men actively seeking alternatives to the types of masculinities displayed online (I’m a teenager attracted to the manosphere. Here’s how to reach young men like me, November 2). But for me, Josh Sargent’s article isn’t just about the manosphere. It’s about the platforms that facilitate this and how social media shifts attention away from things like reading and onto things that largely don’t matter. Josh says it himself: “In all honesty, short content is slightly more engaging than Macbeth quote flashcards.” It’s really worrying.

It is true that the education system can and must do better, but I also think that we must remember that young people have always felt excluded from the education system. They have always been disillusioned, feeling ignored and misunderstood, and I think many young men today forget that. It’s not just them. John Hughes devoted his entire career to writing about disillusioned youth and the pressures to conform to expectations of masculinity. And femininity (women have long endured pressures of not being “feminine” enough, of “failing” as mothers, as women, etc.). It took a long time for alternatives to emerge, and we’re still not there. What frustrates me most about the idea of ​​toxic masculinity is that (some) men think their ordeals are somehow unique, so they take it out on women.

To Josh and others, I say: quit TikTok. It may not be the only cause of the manosphere, but it feeds on it. Social media itself is toxic: it prioritizes what is trivial and superficial. Instead, young men (and everyone) should try to regain their attention span. Go read East of Eden. Go read The Brothers Karamazov. And while you’re at it, read The Handmaid’s Tale. Ignore the static of social media and turn that disillusionment into art.
Siobhan Lyons
Researcher in Media and Cultural Studies, Sydney, Australia

I wasn’t at all surprised to read Josh Sargent’s recommendations on how to reach young men like him. Having worked with young men in the North East of England over the last decade, I see the same disillusionment and uncertainty that Josh describes – yet the media insists on seeing it as nothing but misogyny and toxicity. Ten years ago, I argued that we needed to stop talking about a “crisis of masculinity.” We didn’t stop: we simply replaced the word crisis with toxic. Today we call boys “lost.”

Josh writes, “I can promise you, we’re not lost. We’re just waiting for you to hear us.” Well said. But it shouldn’t be up to boys to say it louder. It’s up to the rest of us to listen better.

Talk of crisis, toxicity, and loss is not only unhelpful, it empowers the very voices it claims to oppose. The manosphere tells young men that they will not be seen, heard, or valued. So stop doing their job for them. If young men struggle for money, meaning, and manhood, then make these legitimate topics a matter of public conversation – not matters of private shame. The only way to keep concerns about pec sizes, penis sizes, and salaries away from the steroid-fueled manosphere is to make it socially normal for young men to talk about it openly. Young men do not need to be rescued. They must be taken seriously.
Dr Michael J Richardson
Senior Lecturer in Human Geography, University of Newcastle

As the mother of a 17-year-old boy, I read Josh Sargent’s article on masculinity with interest. I went upstairs to interrupt the game and get the opinions of her seven male friends aged 17 to 19. Most study practical professions at university or in apprenticeship, the others work in factories. The following is a summary of what they told me.

Yes, they see that “toxic” and “masculinity” are associated online. They observed that “many girls are treated like shit by men” and that “muscular men who want to fight” are examples of toxic masculinity. No approval was expressed for them.

They noted that being masculine is not a bad thing, although that has changed, and that some girls can be masculine and some boys they know are more feminine. They wondered why we need labels for everything, when all kinds of people can be toxic.

Identifying male role models proved rather simple, with only action movie actors being named by a single boy. They feel that Grimsby/Cleethorpes is quite well stocked with activities for young people, with great respect for The Trin (sporting and community activities) and interest in the new Horizon center which will open soon. They felt that schools were too strict and that children with unidentified needs were labeled as naughty and put in isolation all day without learning anything. One observed that schools look like they did 100 years ago and that what people need to learn has evolved.

They read this letter to the end and approved its sending. I was impressed by the nuance of their thinking and have less to worry about now that I understand it better. I am happy that our region has funds for certain activities for young people. Josh Sargent was right: an open and honest conversation with the boys is necessary.
Vicky Dunn
Grimsby, Lincolnshire