How to, Like, Stop Saying Filler Words

The slightest quirks in our speech can change the way we are perceived. But, uh, filler words aren’t the bad guys they’re made out to be. They work, you know, behind the scenes.

“We lump them all together as trash words,” says Valerie Fridland, a linguistics professor at the University of Nevada, Reno and author of Like, literally, dude: arguing for good in bad English. “We call them ‘filler words,’ and fillers are things we don’t like: You don’t want fillers in your food. So when you use that same word to refer to things in conversation, it sounds like things you don’t want.”

Yet in reality, they serve important cognitive and social functions. We spoke with experts about why we rely on them and how to harness them when it matters.

The Surprisingly Useful Lifespan of the “Um”

When you use filler words, your brain does not have problems. It’s a buffer.

Linguists divide these verbal loading bars into two categories. First, there are “filled pauses” such as “uh” and “uh”, which people love to hate. They are unusual because they do not replace anything else; you can’t swap a more refined synonym. There is no such thing as an elevated version of “uh,” Fridland points out.

Instead, they perform a specific function. We tend to deploy them just before launching into something more linguistically cumbersome: a long clause, an unfamiliar term, a syntactic maze. “It’s our brain’s way of signaling that it needs a moment,” says Fridland. The more complex the thought, the more likely your brain is to build into a rhythm.

Filled pauses not only save time for the speaker: they also manage the conversation for everyone else involved. An audible “uh” or “uh” signals that a thought is still under construction. Otherwise, your interviewer might assume you’re done and move on, or wonder if you’ve lost your train of thought. “Either they think you’re done and you’re taking over, or they ask you, ‘What’s your problem?’ Why don’t you find something?” Fridland says. On the other hand, slipping in an “um” or “uh” telegraphs something more reassuring: “Wait, I’m getting there. Give me a second.” Interestingly, Fridland adds, research suggests that people tend to use “um” for shorter deadlines and opt for “um” when they anticipate needing a little more time.

Learn more: 12 communication habits to abandon in 2026

The other category of filler words includes what linguists call “discourse markers”: words such as “like,” “literally,” “you know,” “well,” “I mean,” and “so.” Rather than acting as mental breaks, they are social tools. They help structure what you say and subtly guide how listeners interpret it. “That’s how I want you to understand what I’m saying in terms of the relationships between things,” Fridland explains. For example, starting a sentence with “good” can signal that what follows may not be what someone expects.

In everyday communication, all of these filler words “serve very good interpersonal functions,” says Fridland. “They definitely help us with casual conversations. If we didn’t use speech markers, people would think we were very robotic and rude.”

The problem of perception

Although filler words can help conversations flow more smoothly, research suggests that their overuse can signal uncertainty or shaky mastery of content (or language in general). In professional contexts, such as during work presentations, this perception can erode a speaker’s credibility and clarity.

“Unfortunately, the public may perceive you as less intelligent or less prepared if you use vocal fillers excessively,” says Heather Hayes, a clinical assistant professor in the department of media, communications and visual arts at Pace University in New York. “You will distract your audience. This may do you a disservice as a speaker.”

Other research has shown that filler words also don’t work in high-stakes situations like job interviews. The more filler words a person uses, the higher they are rated in terms of professional and personal credibility and communication skill, which can influence hiring decisions.

Learn more: 7 polite phrases that are always worth saying

Roger Love, a Los Angeles-based vocal coach who trains top speakers and performers, has a hard time hiding his disdain for filler words. “They are destroying the English language,” he says (especially the “like”, which he hates above all else). Imagine, he says, starting a presentation or job interview like this: “As a rocket scientist, I discovered the true meaning of matter. » Then you follow up with a thug “uh”. “The audience is like, ‘Wow, I thought this person was really smart, but they don’t seem so smart anymore,'” he says.

Love hates filler words so much that he started a domestic crackdown when his children were young. “When we had our first child, we decided to tell him that fillers were a bad word,” he says. “Every time she started saying ‘uh,’ we’d say, ‘We don’t swear in this house, honey.’ » The intervention, he says, stuck. As adults, his children, one of whom is an acclaimed songwriter, are careful with their lyrics and frugal with fillers.

How to reduce it

You don’t have to remove every “um” from your vocabulary. But in high-stakes moments (job interviews, presentations, big meetings), cutting back on expenses can refine how you’re perceived. Experts say a few small adjustments can make a noticeable difference.

Record yourself speaking

The idea of ​​watching (or even just listening to) you talk may make you shudder. But it’s one of the best ways to figure out which filler words you’re relying on. “If you just know that you’re using them, but you don’t really know which ones you’re using, where you’re using them, how you’re using them, or how often you’re using them, you’re kind of just trying in the dark,” says Fridland.

That’s why she suggests recording yourself having a video conversation and then reviewing the automatically generated transcript. Ideally, this will be a long, informal conversation, so you’ll forget you clicked the record button; otherwise, you risk becoming hyper-vigilant about how you speak and not capturing your natural speech patterns.

The exercise will give you a clearer idea of ​​your personal filling habits. “When you’re actually face-to-face, you tend to rely more on those markers,” says Fridland, “and so you get a really good representation of the type you’re using.”

Ask a friend for their opinion

There’s another way to tell if you’re still overusing a certain filler word: outsource the diagnosis. Hayes suggests approaching a close friend with a simple question: “Hey, have you noticed I use vocal fillers?” The answer might be that you insert “you know” into almost every sentence. This information can be humbling and extremely helpful.

“Awareness is the first step to overcoming any bad habit,” she says. “Once you become aware of your personal filler word, you can be more attentive when you speak and actively try to avoid using it.”

Get inspired by music

Love thinks the real solution is not to eliminate pauses, but to replace filler words with melody. “What you want to do before the silence is go up,” he says. Instead of letting your voice drop to a comma, which indicates you’re done, he teaches clients to end sentences on a slightly higher note or in a sustained tone, which is called a rising melody. “If you used more melody, you wouldn’t need a filler word. They would know you weren’t finished,” Love says. In other words, your voice can signal continuation without resorting to “uh.” “The melody of your voice tells them there is more to come,” he said.

Learn more: The 4-word tip for saying a good goodbye

Meanwhile, falling melodies — which mean a drop in pitch and volume at the end of the phrase — make you sad, which likely rubs off on the person listening. When your voice drops like this, “people think it’s their turn to speak,” Love says, which is why it’s best to replace your filler word with a rising melody.

Breathe in a specific way

Another of Love’s favorite solutions is deceptively simple: change the way you breathe. He teaches his clients diaphragmatic breathing, which means inhaling through the nose and expanding the stomach rather than the chest.

The key, he says, is to keep your lips closed until you have a word ready to say. “I tell people to close their lips before starting a sentence,” he says. “After the commas, close your mouth again and breathe in through your nose. No matter how long it takes you to think about what you’re going to say next – you’re not allowed to open your mouth until you have a real word to say that isn’t ‘uh’ or ‘uh.’

Sometimes, while working out, Love’s clients even put their hands over their mouths to physically stop themselves from letting out a filler word. It may seem like “a kid’s thing,” he says, “but it works.”

To slow down

Speed ​​is rocket fuel for “meh.” “When you talk really fast, you’ll start spitting out these vocal fillers while your brain tries to catch up with your mouth,” says Hayes. The solution is deliberate deceleration. Many people rush because they are nervous or eager to get a presentation over with, but this urgency backfires. “If you slow down, you’re not going to fill the silence,” she says.

Say it out loud

Another smart solution: practice out loud. “People make the mistake of thinking about what they’re going to say, but they don’t talk about what they’re going to say,” says Fridland. “You should practice this. Say it out loud,” because thinking through your points means focusing on the big ideas, not how you’re actually going to articulate them. When you rehearse verbally, your brain “has already mapped out that path,” so it’s less likely to stop with an “uh” or “uh” when you’re speaking in real time, she says.