What is the Midwest goodbye and why does it always take so long to end?
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Most people have heard of the Irish goodbye, which involves someone sneaking out of an event unexpectedly. It turns out that an American-based regional outing often happens at the end of a meal – and it’s quite the opposite.
“Goodbye to the Midwest” is less about leaving and more about how long it takes to actually get out.
What starts as a simple attempt to get home can turn into a prolonged process filled with hugs, chatter, and repeated attempts to get out, even if the remains are pushed onto the person leaving.
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The term has become cultural shorthand for the famously long goodbyes common throughout the Midwest and is sometimes even nicknamed “Minnesota’s goodbye,” a reflection of the region’s reputation for generous hospitality and hard-to-refuse food offerings.
Much of this involves “lingering in doorways,” according to the Chicago Tribune. “We spend so much time standing on a threshold, one hand on a doorknob, resisting the remains, hugging, promising to return, resisting the remains again, listening to one more story, being unable to extract ourselves,” the outlet noted in a 2022 article.
Unlike the Irish farewell, the Midwest version of a person’s exit from an event is known to be long and lingering. (iStock)
Comedian Charlie Berens also popularized the ritual, joking that it can be broken down into recognizable steps.
It begins with a slap on the knee and saying, “Well, I guess” to signal that one is about to leave, Berens said in a 2023 comedy special, adopting a thick Midwestern accent.
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From there, the process drags on: guests get up, look for their coats, exchange hugs, and dive back into the conversation.
Even reaching the door does not guarantee an exit, as conversations may continue, sometimes moving to the driveway or even after the car starts. “Whatever you do, don’t roll down your window,” Berens joked.
A “Midwest goodbye” often includes several attempts to leave an event before actually leaving. (iStock)
The long goodbyes were also instantly recognizable to many people online.
During a recent Reddit discussion among Wisconsin natives, commenters swapped stories about how long a Midwest farewell would take.
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“My nephew was visiting and said, ‘Well, I guess I should go,'” one person commented. “It was at 11:50. Then he stayed for an entire Packers game.”
The person added: “This is the most authentic farewell anyone can say in Wisconsin.”
“Farewell to the Midwest is the purest sign of comfort, pleasure and care when it comes to leaving a social setting.”
Others described the ritual as almost impossible to interrupt.
“We don’t just say goodbye to the Midwest. The only way out is through it,” another user wrote.
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Some people said the only way to avoid it was to say goodbye to the Irish.
Offers of more food and leftovers often extend a “goodbye to the Midwest.” (iStock)
“Farewell to the Midwest, at its heart, is a bear hug regardless of how much time remains,” the Tribune article notes.
The extended release reflects something deeper than usual, agreed Richie Frieman, a Baltimore-based author and etiquette expert known as “the man of modern manners.”
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“Farewell to the Midwest is the purest sign of comfort, fun and care when it comes to leaving a social setting,” Frieman told Fox News Digital.
It’s a sign of respect, he said. “Does it take more time than just waving into the room from the door? Yes. But is that the kindest way to show someone’s appreciation for the invitation and the work done? Yes, too.”
Experts say planning ahead and keeping interactions brief can help shorten a “Midwest goodbye.” (iStock)
Of course, it can be “pretty exhausting,” Frieman noted.
For those hoping to escape their next Midwest dinner without looking rude, he said the key is to be intentional.
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“The polite way to shorten Midwestern goodbyes is to plan ahead, because you know it takes time, and set a mental clock for each interaction,” he said.
Overall, Frieman advised, “It’s best to read the room and do your best to make it out before the host gets out the vacuum to clean.”
