Husband’s eating habits make me cringe – Chicago Tribune

Dear Eric: My husband has eating and health habits that make me cringe. When he prepares his lunch, he licks mayonnaise or peanut butter which he obtained on his fingers and then glues them in the common chip bag without washing his hands first.

When it eats cereals or salad, it makes this noise that puts itself in my head. I’m looking for excuses not to sit at the table with him when he eats. In addition, he does not always wash his hands after using the bathroom, which further aggravates the situation of the chip bag.

I mentioned everything, except for the snack sound in the past and he still gets this buttoned look that he can do nothing good, then he is good for a while, but start again. He is about to retire, and I shiver at the idea of eating even more meals with him. What can I do?

– eat alone

Dear dining room: The snaps, although frustrating, are a different problem of its health habits, so approach them separately. If you share food or space, it is crucial to also have agreements on how to coexist healthy. Underline the things he does that are unsanitary when they happen – the lack of hand washing, for a (yuck!). Explain that this is something that you cannot respect and why. It can say that it does not matter, but it is a big problem for you. He must therefore work with you to find a solution.

An easy solution is to have separate smart bags. This does not get the basic problem, but it can help clean the air a little. The broader problem in play, however, is a low level disgust of some of its habits. Maybe they were bearable at smaller doses when he worked. But retirement is a different paradigm and you are both, essentially, about to create a new space shared together. If he pouts, he does not contribute to the creation of this new space and he does not hear what you say. Talk to him clearly and with kindness but hold your land. Also consider if there are more feelings of frustration or deeper resentment than you can work with him so that some of his habits do not serve as much.

Dear Eric: I have an online friend who is 30 years old and who is married to a guy who has the end of the 1950s. Even if I do not know her in real life, I really love her and I feel disturbed by age disparity. When she was 18, he was forty. For me, it indicates a flu.

I would like to know your opinion on men who are looking for much younger women and vice versa. She says he is his best friend, but I have the impression that he is a man in difficulty. She is constantly leaving conversations to go to him. He appears as needing his constant attention, which I find bizarre. The word co -of -code comes to my mind. His life seems to be completely around him.

They live on the property of his mother in a sort of guest house, and he does not work but apparently writes a book. She has moved from another country to be with him and have known him for a year when they got married.

I know it is not my business in the end, but do you think that these age gaps (or at least in this case) issues problems? She told me that most women would dream of having a man like him and that he treats her very well. I wonder except that the craze of a younger woman who cannot see that her preference for younger women is not necessarily healthy.

– Affected friend

Dear friend: The context is really important here. Eighteen and 40 are very different from 30 and the late 1950s due to maturity, experience and a host of other factors. It is therefore impossible for me to say that it is an unhealthy relationship, even if there are things on which he should work in life. And I would also have you against such judgments.