I long to carpe diem! How can I be more present? | Health & wellbeing

I am long for Carpe Diem! I have a busy life, a loving partner and good friends but, despite waiting for the holidays or events, when I am In I feel unable to relax and enjoy.

I constantly think of work or my daughter or my elderly mother or, most of them, my pension. I know people notice. And it’s not just an obvious verification of my phone, I think it’s a vacancy behind my eyes. How can I be more present?

Eleanor says:: Assuming that it is not a sign of greater mental health experience, I think that to a certain extent, everyone feels the same thing. I remember being finished with a poem by Marie Howe, a line from it reads

What is held on the way? Why does it seem so difficult to carp our remaining diems?

You mention feeling constantly diverted, by drawing your attention to work and your mom, your daughter and your pension. These are important things to think. It does not seem that the problem is that your attention is breaking through screens, television, social media. You describe to be removed from the presentation by things that are important to you, not just being pulled in nothing, and no.

It could be the start of the answer. Does part of you feel forced to remain mentally attached to these things? Is this how you show you that you care about them, or how do you reassure yourself? Do you think you have a license to put them aside a little or would it feel bad, scary or as if you were not doing enough?

For many of us, to deliberate something, or to come back again and again to a question on this subject, is part of the way in which we express our value. Especially when an aspect is out of our will, some of us are accompanied by returning it to it in thought, turning it again and again like a gentle pebble of all manipulation.

I do not pretend to know the answer to the modification of these models; This is a question for therapists or introspection. But I think it’s worth asking not only how To seize the day but why we are not exactly. For some of us, it’s just the aggregate of being occupied, tired, on screen screen. For the others, it is not only that we forget to be present, but that making concerns to do so is frightening or insubordinate.

If what you need is not only tactics for carp-on but also permission, therapy can really help.

It can also help be directed by what you to want; What you want to do an unexpectedly free afternoon. Carpe Diem becomes so excited that the secret of life, disguised as Latin and carved on tombstones, that it can have the impression that it must be very important. This, of course, can in turn give the impression that just another task to fail.

But the presence does not have to resemble meditation or communion with nature or a deep overview of the universe. This can be a calm appreciation of anything You cherish. A cold morning, a singing moment, the smell of a person you love.

It’s too easy to want (then to fight so as not to have) a particular set of feelings about “the now”. But the first step to be there is open to him. Notify it, really feeling it. There is a long way to go before loving it or being grateful, but we will not get there without first getting rid of the door.

Ask Eleanor a question