I Went Halves on My Engagement Ring—And It Felt Completely Romantic
Last weekend my partner and I got engaged. (Eek! Yeah! Champagne bottle emoji!) Getting engaged is something we’ve been talking about for a while — yes, I knew it was coming. And I’m glad I did, because it allowed me to book a manicure and plan my cut. It also meant I could help choose the ring. We opted for a truly stunning (IMO) vintage emerald and diamond ring from Rock N’ Rose. And when it came to making the purchase, it seemed only natural that we would split the bill.
When I tell people that my partner and I decided to go halves on my engagement ring, it tends to elicit a wide range of responses: a raised, wary eyebrow. An “Oh, that’s…interesting.” Maybe even a look of thinly veiled pity.
This is not what I absolutely expected everyone go halfway. Obviously, many women don’t want to do this, and that’s fine! But I’m always a little surprised by these reactions. I had assumed that splitting the cost of the ring was something many of us modern women could do. It was right, feminist; a symbol of our partnership rather than a reminder of some kind of outdated gender imbalance.
Courtesy of Meg Walters
Courtesy of Meg Walters
After all, things have come a long way when it comes to equality in romantic relationships between men and women in the UK. On the one hand, it has become the norm for men and women to work. ClearScore research suggests that most couples strive to contribute equally to finances: 40% of couples split bills proportionally to income, while 51% split everything 50/50. Of course, there is still a long way to go in terms of the division of labor, with women doing 36 hours of housework per week, compared to 25 hours on average for men. Still, it’s an improvement over the zero hours that (many) men worked 50 years ago.
However, despite this general desire to make the heterosexual couple more egalitarian, few couples make the same decision to divide when it comes to the engagement ring. According to a 2023 study, 94% of partners who proposed paid for the engagement ring in full, and only 2% of couples decided to split the cost of the ring.
Then again, the more I think about it, these statistics sort of hold true. My algorithm (which took into account the fact that I’m getting engaged) is filled with a surprising number of young women who seem to fervently believe that the ring should to be something that man and only it’s the man who pays. And, stranger still, the general line of thinking seems to be: the bigger the ring he can buy, the better the man.
