My partner fantasises about men during sex – and it makes me feel undesired as a woman | Life and style

My partner has always been excited by gay sexual acts and does not really manage to have sex This stimulus. He was honest on this subject from the start. I am quite open -minded and went with a lot of scenarios It excited him. He says it’s just a fold and he’s not gay.

However, now Whenever we have sex, he is always focused on the fantasy of his being with a man. He never looks at me with desire other than saying that my face is really pretty. I can walk naked and he doesn’t beat an eyelid. He sees me as a womanDom, which, I think, means that he likes me to do it “to go out». He is an honest man, good for me and we get along perfectly. I just feel a little undesirable as a woman and worry one day that he will decide that he is, in fact, gay.

What should I do? He swears he only wants to be with me and will always love me, will never cheatand I Trust him completely. I don’t want to talk about it in case I do it, because I want him to feel safe and accepted. Should I stop worrying about my own HanguageUPS?

Different couples make all kinds of pacts different with each other – some spoken, some tacit. In your partnership, it seems that you have originally found parity; You both benefited from the arrangement between you. In addition to being happy in your daily life together, you were able to use your sexual creativity to satisfy him, and in turn, he may have avoided having to recognize the aspects of his sexual orientation which made him uncomfortable.

As long as you have the impression that this pact was just, you were satisfied with it, but now the balance has changed and you want to be really desired. You will have to think carefully about the question of whether the advantages of being with him prevail over the difficulties.

What is most important is to stop lowering your feelings like your “own crashes”. A woman knows if she is not designated, and it is very painful. You care and protect yourself from him and his feelings, but your own feelings are strong and valid and they should be respected, by both of you.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist based in the United States specializing in the treatment of sexual disorders.