‘What do you value more – kindness or intelligence?’ A trans couple’s hunt for the perfect sperm donor – one stranger at a time | Stage

FOr the writer, performer and actor based in London, Krishna Istha, a creative approach to find a sperm donor came naturally – and resulted in a comforting and evocative spectacle. The first quarter, which was played in the world and which then headed for Melbourne Fringe Festival in October, sees potential sperm donors apply to be interviewed live on stage by ISTHA, a trans artist hunting a donor to start a family with his partner, who is also trans.

During a 10 -minute interview, ISTHA connects to each person as an individual, rather than the sperm of clinical information that banks generally provide donors. Discussions range from philosophical: “What do you appreciate the most – kindness or intelligence?” To cultural tradition: “Have you watched the Princesses newspapers?”

During their very first appointment seven years ago, Istha told their partner, Logan Rea, that they wanted to have children. The couple began to correctly examine the sperm of donors four years ago in the United Kingdom, Australia and Aotearoa (New Zealand) where Rea was born. It should be noted that the number of sperm donors is relatively low, which also means that it is mainly white.

“We travel the banks of the sperm and we did not really have contact with people from the information given to us,” says Istha. “In the United Kingdom, each sperm bank had a color color, a height, a doctorate or no doctorate.

Note what was missing in their research led to the creation of the first quarter, which was organized in London, Copenhagen, Dublin, Switzerland and Auckland so far. (There is even a Netflix documentary, Sperm Donors Wanted!, Directed by Rea.) While the show has moved around the world, Istha observed distinct values ​​held by the potential donors of each country.

“When we did the show to Dublin, no matter the question-it has always brought back to their grandmother, which I thought really nice,” they say. “In Switzerland, emphasis was on people who raised children in cooperatives, which was very surprised to me. It is interesting to determine what the landscape of people in the manufacture of family and family ideas are. ”

When we talk about zoom – istha in London and I in the Victoria region – I just had the chaos of the Tuesday post -taco cleaning with my wife and our own donors. Having a known donor was important to us; We understand that the family is both logical and organic, as is the case for many members of the LGBTIQA +community.

When my wife, our donor and I met in a cafe all these years ago, we asked him what would happen if he suddenly felt the desire to be a parent involved once a child born. His honest answer, which he really didn’t know, confirmed that he was the right person for us. We did not know before talking about it as a trio that humility was one of the qualities we were looking for.

For Istha and REA, it is essential to know the person who would be part of his life – either now or when his child is 18 years old. And a face to face conversation will ensure, hopefully, their donor is not “a horrible person who is a transphobe or a queerphobe”.

The first quarter is therefore a real search for a donor – but for the public, it is also a revealing spectacle on trans reproductive health care which puts conversations often kept behind closed doors on stage. ISTHA explores the intersections of fertility and human bond with heat and charisma, welcoming people to explore the myriads of layers of this living work together.

For Istha and Rea, their first conversations on the search for their donor through the theater were more wonderful glow than the concrete plan. Rea was initially worried about their privacy. “”[He] He certainly said no at first, “said Istha.” Now he’s completely on board and he loves it – he is sitting in the audience for each program. “”

Part of the reason why Rea has changed his mind is also the reason why the first trimester is so important. “While we spent more time examining how trans people could have children – adoption in relation to logistics and the legal landscape of the way we could be protected as parents – we almost immediately achieved the lack of adequate information to help us cross,” says ISTHA. “We, of course, were very lucky to have friends and a queer family who have already done so and who had access to information in this way, but what made Logan Go“ Yes, we should do this show ” was to want to create resources for others in the future. “

The generosity of the LGBTIQA + community circulates in many directions, and the answers to the show have no exception. “Our friends offered [to donate sperm] Much more than they would have otherwise, “says Istha.” [a donation]You have to be in the show. It is unfair to configure a process and not stay there. »»

In general terms, the ideal donor of Istha and Rea would be “someone with whom we can continue, someone we would like in our lives as ani forever after this point”.

“It’s a bit like looking for a partner – good communication and believing in the same thing,” they add. “Someone nice and fun who would add to the child’s life in one way or another.”

In their dreams, what does the future family of Istha look like? “The first thing that comes to mind is to match the outfits,” they reply. “Me and Logan and this baby in a sort of incredible silver frog. The first dream is to have a child. I’m going to dream of the rest if and when it happens. “

• The first quarter takes place in Arts House, North Melbourne, October 16-18. Auslan interpreted performance October 17 7 p.m. The tactile guides of the tour and audio descriptors are available on October 18, as well as by request – Contact the arts of the house to reserve