Readers reply: can you acquire courage? | Life and style

IIs it possible to acquire courage if you don’t have it? I was moved by the recent story of an Australian boy who swam ashore for several hours in rough waters to raise the alarm that his mother and siblings had been swept out to sea. Despite his exhaustion, he then ran several kilometers to find a phone.

But I also think about the smaller demands of courage – like standing up to a friend or family member, or taking on a company that ignores your polite requests while you suffer from their actions. Or I also wonder how people do certain jobs which, for me, require a lot of courage: starting a business or taking any other professional risk; reporting from a war zone like Lyse Doucet or Jeremy Bowen. Or simply being a police officer knocking on a suspect’s door without knowing what’s on the other side.

What brings courage in all of these situations, and if you don’t have it, can you get it? Sam, Exeter, Devon

Send new questions to nq@theguardian.com.

Reader response

Courage is more of a decision than anything else, especially the first time. The old adage “Feel the fear and do it anyway” is important. You don’t need courage if you don’t have fear, so don’t wait for the fear to go away before trying. The first time is the hardest, then you start to realize that the sky isn’t falling, and it gets easier and easier.

I started out very shy. In fact, I still am. But I learned to refuse to be pushed around, to challenge people, to write really good, logical letters to companies that were trying to bother me. You can do all these things gently. There is no need to be loud or angry. Just realizing that quietly stating your cause can move mountains is liberating. LorLala

Ask the Dutch… MarcHainge

I believe it is available in liquid form. eibhear

It comes from realizing and focusing on the fact that another person or the moral value of something is greater than yourself. At that point, you no longer matter. Jeanne123

Marcus Aurelius: “You have power over your mind – not over external events. Realize this and you will find strength.” “If it’s humanly possible, know that you can do it.”

When I was a scaffolder, the boss asked me if I was afraid. I said, “Yes.” He said: “Good man, I don’t want to work up there with someone who is not afraid because they are very dangerous to be around, but rather someone who can temper the fear with courage. » FreddyStEadygow

This is the kind of bold question I would be afraid to ask. sparkles the wonderful hen

I hope I can. I’ll keep you up-to-date. Next steps

I’m not sure courage is the right word for the examples in the article. Preparation and practice are important. There are still nerves, obviously, but training allows you to manage them. For example, doing a musical performance in public (especially solo) is scary. And it never stops being that. However, I look at my practice notes and post-event articles and see that every time I’m ready to piss my pants in advance. But I rely on my training. Windy day

Nothing happens physically to “gain” courage; you abandon the egoic structure that requires protection. The distinction between courage and courage is the difference between wisdom and will. shakercoola

I once knew a guy who wouldn’t ride a roller coaster, citing the very few times it resulted in fatalities. Yet he experimented wildly with drugs, which is riskier. He couldn’t accurately assess the risks of each activity because one didn’t give him pleasure and the other did. lmllr1

Can you gain courage? Yes, I think we can see this happening all around us as people age, mature, and begin to question their own world. It takes courage to fire the boss, get rid of toxic friends, dump the spouse, trade the car for a bike, let your hair go gray, ignore the false claims of “health” and “beauty” marketers and advertising in general, and, “to yourself, be true.” Ōikaze

A mother whose son was posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross was once asked to define courage. She simply said that courage was caring more about others than yourself. Jima19

Never underestimate the “challenge” when it comes to training those who run into trouble, who undertake things greater than themselves. If you survive the worst that can happen – abuse from caregivers, trauma of all kinds – some survivors “reach out” and take risks on behalf of others, on behalf of the oppressed. Being a trauma survivor often translates into “courage,” which is actually a refusal to give in to outside pressure. winter fox

My ancient Greek philosophy professor told us that she once gave an exam where one of the questions (alluding to one of Plato’s plays) was: “What is courage?” One of his students wrote nothing but “PTO” at the bottom of each page of his answer booklet, and on the last line of the last page he wrote: “This is.”

Courage is something you practice and perfect. This creates a reaction in you that it is better to act than to sit idly by. Do something small that takes courage each week and you’ll begin to learn that action generates good feelings. This way, when faced with danger, you are more likely to act rather than freeze. As the saying goes: shit your pants and do it anyway. Most people we think of as courageous don’t necessarily feel that way about themselves. 1mikegardner7

Yes, especially under fire. Adrenaline is a very powerful hormone and plays a vital role in the fight or flight response by increasing blood flow to the muscles and aiding our cognitive processing and decision making. Sagarmatha1953

Courage on the battlefield comes from accepting that you are already dead. Courage in the face of the true reality of the human condition and our inevitable animal death is the greatest and most elusive reward of all, a lifelong practice in moving closer to acquisition, and carries the real risk of falling into open psychosis. The best method I know is contemplation and reading: Kierkegaard, Freud and the post-Freudians, the poets, Péguy, Tolstoy, et al. tinears

Courage versus resilience versus innate personal nature? Courage is evocative. Resilience is experiential. The innate personal nature is routine. snazpizaz2

True courage often comes from having no other choice. Sink or swim. Our first baby died in 2018. Someone said to me, “I wouldn’t be able to live if that happened to me. I don’t know how you find the courage to continue.”

But the truth is, if you choose to live (as I did, thankfully), you have to find the courage. I am now a funeral celebrant and the skills required outwardly present themselves as courage, but it is simply solidarity and support for those who now have no choice but to be brave. Lucy_Biggs_

Necessity, as they say, is the mother of invention. Dorkalicious

Having had no choice but to continue despite enormous difficulties, courage always showed itself. What else am I going to do? Collapse in a heap and wait for a nonexistent savior? It’s about continuing, despite everything. Grasmere Gardens

If you think you can’t do something, such as holding a handstand, then finding out that you can can help you build courage, and you may be able to try doing a handstand. Always with you, of course, an experienced and highly qualified yoga teacher. yogainspain

It is a shame that only a tiny handful of politicians have managed to resist the generally benevolent acceptance of current world events. woodworm20

Yes. I had acquired during military training a kind of controlled “courage” in the form of “courage within limits.” I found myself brave beyond my expectations and training when someone tried to eliminate me. DrJWCC

You can put yourself in situations outside of your comfort zone. Most of the time, they’re not as bad as you think, and you can go a little further next time. Until you reach a point where someone notices how brave you were. Moving to a foreign country, for example. PeteTheBeat

There is the story of a student who takes a final English exam. The title of the essay was Courage. The student thinks and writes this: “Courage, is this…” then leaves the exam room. Can this courage be learned? Kieran, by email

A very timely issue in a world of climate disasters, pandemics, and oligarchs who can afford underground shelters where they can hide their gold, freeze their bodies after death for future rebirth, and don’t care about the rest of us who daily and courageously want to survive and help those who help us. As Marcus Aurelius wrote: “A good disposition is invincible. » PR Orlando, by email