My rookie era: in a period of heartbreak, learning to pole dance gave me structure | Australian lifestyle

WWhen my friend Bea took up pole dancing, she enthusiastically tried to convert everyone she knew to the practice – a common trope, I later discovered. As a childhood gymnast and dancefloor enthusiast, I was spotted as a potential recruit, so my sister and I, in 2023, joined her for a class.

The class was crowded and the studio seemed too commercialized. The friction of the metal pole against my skin was downright painful, and spinning around made me so dizzy that I had to sit down to reorient myself several times.

Plus, I was a bit of a loser. And if I’m honest, it bruised my fragile ego as a former gymnast.

Fast forward to 2025, several months after the end of a ten-year relationship. As is the case when one is catapulted into singlehood, I was trying new things and “getting out there.” After attending a burlesque show, I set my sights on striptease classes – a way to connect with my femininity, gain confidence and perhaps one day perform on stage in full pomp and glamour.

A little research led me to a pole studio in Sydney that also offered striptease. When I learned that stripping was not practiced during this time, the owner suggested a trial pole class instead. At first, I wasn’t sold. But for $15 and the chance to do something different, I figured, why not?

Fortunately, my second the course could not have been more different from the first. Natural light streams through the studio’s windows, giving it a warm and welcoming atmosphere. The owner and instructor, Luci, welcomed me with a big smile and a laugh that immediately put me at ease.

Unlike my crowded first class, I was the only pole student here. I spent the afternoon learning the basics: walking around the pole, doing a chair trick, climbing, and pieced them together into a mini routine, all while being encouraged by my personal hype girl.

At the end of the class, I was proud of myself for giving pole another chance. The pain and dizziness were still there, but were not as intense as I had imagined. I was curious to learn more, so the next day I signed up for a 10-week beginner’s course.

During my period of grief where the days blurred together, pole dancing gave me structure, and Sunday afternoons quickly became sacred: a weekly class to commit to, a schedule to follow, and a place to simply show up.

Nine months later, I now do two or three pole classes a week, and like many baby polers, I created an Instagram “polegress” to track my progress.

These digital archives are a way for me to remember how far I have come. For example, I once winced while climbing the pole, but now I can do it without pain. Dancing used to be a barefoot activity, until I started wearing seven-inch heels. My pole endurance (how long you can stay on the pole) once measured in seconds, now extends well beyond a minute.

I learned to invert (raise upside down from the ground) and now practice doing it overhead and via shoulder support.

It hasn’t been entirely smooth sailing. Like many baby polers who get hooked and start training too much, too soon, I’ve had injuries. During my third month of pole training, while training up to four times a week, I developed a minor shoulder blade injury; This forced me to reduce my classes and start pole-specific physio.

Ultimately, pole deepened my appreciation of my body and forced me to be more in tune with it. It’s helped me practice patience, both inside and outside of the studio – whether it’s learning a certain skill or “getting over” my own grief.

Pole is a reminder of my self-determination: a hobby that I created for myself, on my own.

I also came to deeply respect the sport. Pole dancing has a rich and important history that you need to educate yourself in. There are countless styles to explore and countless areas to improve and refine (flexibility, strength, performance, heel technique, ground work). And contrary to what my second solo pole class would suggest, pole studios are rich communal spaces. Cheers are the norm, words of encouragement are common, and shared celebration is a given.

So now, of course, I’m also recruiting other members.