Ilia Malinin talks crippling anxiety that cost him an Olympic medal
MILAN — He blew out the quad-axel. He fell on the ice. He tried to hide his pained expression.
Ilia Malinin collapsed in the men’s free skate, tumbling from near-lock to win the gold medal in eighth place after a disastrous performance on Friday. After his music ended, Malinin covered his anguished face. He placed his hands on his knees, shook his head in disbelief and scrunched up his face, hoping to hold back tears.
It was the first time since November 2023 that he did not win a competition.
“I just thought all I had to do was go out there and trust the process that I always followed in every competition,” Malinin said, her cheeks stained with tears. “But of course, these are not competitions like any other. These are the Olympic Games.”
American Ilia Malinin reacts after tripping during the men’s free skate at the Winter Olympics on Friday in Milan.
(Robert Gauthier/Los Angeles Times)
Malinin skated four times at the Milan-Cortina Games, helping the United States win a team gold medal with a free skate that gave them a one-point victory. But the 21-year-old had just one flawless skate in his first experience at the Games. He explained his slow start in the team event as “Olympic nerves.”
There was no explanation for Friday’s flop.
“I think people only realize the pressure and nervousness that comes from within,” said Malinin, whose technical advantage was supposed to be insurmountable for his opponents. “It was really something that was overwhelming me. I just felt like I had no control.”
After Malinin’s score was announced, Kazakh Mikhail Shaidorov covered his mouth in shock. He was the new Olympic champion. Shaidorov won his country’s first Olympic gold medal in figure skating. His coach raised his arm like a boxing champion as a legion of Kazakh fans sitting in the corner above the kissing and crying stand where skaters await their score waved their country’s teal and yellow flags. Malinin hugged him. He pointed to Shaidorov’s chest.
“You deserve it,” Malinin said.
Japan’s Yuma Kagiyama overcame several falls in his program to fight for his second consecutive Olympic silver medal. His compatriot Shun Sato was in tears after learning he had won the bronze medal.
Ilia Malinin’s father, Roman Skorniakov, reacts during his son’s performance in the men’s singles free program at the Winter Olympics Friday in Milan.
(Robert Gauthier/Los Angeles Times)
American Andrew Torgashev finished 12th with a total of 259.06 points, his best total of the season. Maxim Naumov tripped on several jumps during his free skate to finish 20th overall with a total of 223.36 points. The 24-year-old, who lost both parents in a plane crash last year, received a standing ovation from actor Jeff Goldblum, who was in the stands behind the judges.
As the groups progressed to the medal contenders, the crowd filled the Milan rink to the brim. The fans in the suites below the rafters leaned over the windows to see better. Volunteers and arena workers stood at the top of the concourse with no empty seats left to claim.
While rising to the top of the sport with his breathtaking jumps and crowd-pleasing backflips, Malinin said his mission is to increase the popularity of figure skating to attract that kind of attention beyond just the Olympic stage.
But standing at center ice as fans waved American flags on every corner, Malinin, the “Quad God” who seemed invincible just three months ago when he became the first person to land seven quadruple jumps in a single program, was scared.
“Especially getting into that starting pose, I just felt like all the traumatic moments in my life were really starting to flood into my head,” Malinin said. “It was like so many negative thoughts flooded in there, and I just didn’t deal with it.”
He started the program with a powerful quad flip. Then he leapt into the air on his signature quad-axel that he had yet to try at the Olympics. The crowd gasped. The panic began when Malinin downgraded a planned quadruple loop to a double two jumps later.
American Ilia Malinin fell Friday while competing in the men’s free program at the Winter Olympics in Milan.
(Robert Gauthier/Los Angeles Times)
Behind the boards, his father and coach Roman Skorniakov covered his face. Coach Rafael Arutyunyan, who has worked part-time with Malinin since 2021, was pacing back and forth. He hit the padded boards for encouragement before Malinin lined up for a three-jump combination.
Malinin fell again.
The program couldn’t end soon enough just to allow the 21-year-old to hide after years in the spotlight as the presumptive next Olympic champion.
“Being an Olympic gold hopeful is definitely a lot to deal with,” Malinin said, “especially for my age.”
Malinin’s free skate music features self-narrated voiceovers telling the story of his personal journey in the sport. At first, he uncovers his face. His words echo through the speakers. “The only true wisdom,” Malinin says in the show, “is to know that you know nothing.”
After this result, that couldn’t be more true.
