Apple is missing the thing that once made it great

Despite what one might think, given the volume of words Macalope has said on the issue, he is extremely tired of talking about AI. Honestly, he’s tired of talking about many of the tech topics that permeate our current doomsday landscape.

So this week, let’s take a week off. Instead of talking about AI or the worrying intersection of technology and politics or the sad collection of billionaires who dominate tech, let’s talk about something fun.

It’s… fun.

Apple isn’t a completely joyless company, but it’s also not an exaggeration to point out that it’s not really as fun as it used to be. Overall, Apple runs like a well-oiled machine. Events such as the WWDC keynote and product presentations are heavily scripted and filmed in advance. The company’s quarterly results even became a non-event, thanks to the fact that everything is a subscription. Software is a subscription, services are a subscription, even purchasing hardware can easily be done with interest-free loans that make Apple’s revenues as smooth as the sides of Timothée Chalamet’s face, which still seem incapable of growing hair, forcing him to sport a sort of inverted mutton chop.

Don’t get me wrong Macalope, it’s not a bad thing to have a business that is stable, reliable, extremely profitable and still produces products that you actually want to buy. This is pretty much the ideal state for any business. Complaining that Apple isn’t as fun as it used to be is real old man energy yelling at iCloud.

But why not both?

What does Macalope mean when he says “fun”? Remember the iPod nano? It seemed like every year Apple would walk on stage, out of breath, hold up some strange little device and say, “Here’s the new iPod nano. Honestly, even we don’t know what’s going on with this one.” One year the iPod shuffle was a crazy attempt that failed, but they succeeded. The “Rip, Mix, Burn” campaign was ostensibly based on owning the music, but come on. We knew better.

Can you imagine today’s Apple flirting with illegality like this? (Of course, it currently allows apps that let you create nonconsensual porn on the App Store, but it doesn’t exactly advertise it and doesn’t really want anyone talking about it.)

Yes, it’s easy to exaggerate how fun Apple was in hindsight, and part of that was due to the nature of the unscripted events. When the interns were rushing backstage trying to figure out why the slideshow was stuck, Steve Jobs was just telling a story about his criminal activities in the 70s. It was fun! But you don’t have to have unexpected events to have fun.

Apple also lets you do less with your devices these days. iPhones and iPads have proliferated and are more restricted than Macs. Meanwhile, Macs are less repairable and upgradeable than before. There are reasons for this, some good, some bad, but it also kinda sucks.

Apple devices were also often available in true colors. Sure, every once in a while Apple will allow a blue, red, or orange to land on an iPhone as if by clerical error and iMacs aren’t bad, but there’s no denying that the company has deliberately muted the colors.

Of course, there are some exceptions to Apple’s drabification. The Little Finder guy is a lot of fun. Also fun is the MacBook Neo, priced for moving and available in at least a few colors that appear to the human eye as not silver or black.

Foundry

But some of the company’s attempts at entertainment — Image Playground and last year’s “Crush” commercial — have landed like lead balloons. The Macalope isn’t sure who is making lead balloons or why, but they aren’t getting any more air than ever.

While there are many very good reasons not to do so (investors especially like stability), Macalope hopes that Apple, under the leadership of John Ternus, will still take some product risks.

Real colors, for example, would be an easy win here. Yeah, it’s not like Tim Cook picks iPhone colors every year, but he also didn’t say “Is this the best we can do? Gray, dark gray, black, what’s the other one? ‘Shimmer’? Looks like gray.” If this rumor is true, the latest iPhone fully developed under his tenure won’t break the pattern.

A foldable iPhone certainly represents a change of pace, but it’s not exactly like it’s a new concept. Over the past few years, the iPhone’s trajectory can be described as “bigger with better cameras.” That’s about it. Sure, it works, but it’s not much fun.

Ultimately, Macalope would like to see Apple be a little lighter and a little more willing to experiment, even if it means failing from time to time. Is this too much to ask?