Family Models Value of ‘Showing Up’ With Surprise Visit to Attend Dad’s Commencement – RedState

One of my life quotes is attributed to the Victorian era writer, George Eliot: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” As long as we have breath, we can continue to set goals, dream dreams, and pursue them. My 94-year-old friend John is refitting his home for solar–by himself. Even if it is learning a new language or the piano (my retirement goal), it can be accomplished, and may well be what helps keep us alive–the human ability to continue to grow and change is an incredible gift. Couple that with a family that models, supports, and celebrates us in that growth: that is an even greater gift. 

Family values is the subject of this week’s Feel-Good Friday. 

Jon and his wife are parents of four daughters and now, proud grandparents. Three of the daughters are married and out of the house, so Jon decided to spend his latter years pursuing a master’s degree at Western Seminary in Portland, OR. According to PEOPLE, Jon had been quietly pursuing the degree for a while, and was scheduled to graduate with his Master’s in Biblical Leadership in June:

For Jon, the graduation wasn’t about checking a box or earning credentials. It was about staying teachable. “I didn’t need the degree for a job or anything,” he says. “I just wanted to keep growing and stay connected to the next generation.”

After more than 30 years in ministry, he saw it as a chance to better understand the conversations and struggles younger people are facing. “There are things I didn’t experience, and I realized I needed to be better resourced to support people well,” Jon explains.

But the family all lived in Olympia, WA, and the ceremony was in Portland, around two-and-a-half hours away, so Jon decided he didn’t want to inconvenience them with a long drive. His daughter Ashtyn (and who gave him his first grandbaby), got suspicious when she didn’t hear about when the ceremony would be.

Ashtyn says she didn’t even know the ceremony was happening at first. “He was kind of quiet about the whole thing,” she says.

It wasn’t until her sister mentioned the graduation was coming up that it fully hit her. “I just looked at my husband and said, we’re going,” Ashtyn recalls.

…

But the decision to make the trip wasn’t even a question.

“He’s been to all of our graduations, every big thing in our lives,” Ashtyn says. “Of course we were going to be there for his.”

[…]

He wasn’t trying to downplay the importance of the day. In his mind, he was just being practical. “They’ve got kids, jobs, a million things going on,” he says. “I never want to put any extra stress on them. I just wanted to be considerate.”

How sweet is that? A gracious father who considers his children, and children who consider their parents. There’s a biblical concept somewhere in there. Sadly, I know many parents of grown children who lament the fact that their offspring do not make time for them or feel the need to include them in their lives, whether they be small moments, or major milestones. Not so with Jon’s family. It’s a beautiful testament that Jon’s girls considered it a priority to honor their father by showing up, even if it meant driving several hours. However, as Jon tells it, “showing up” is a huge part of the family’s values.

“One of the things we’ve always tried to model in our family is showing up,” Jon says.

It’s not just about being there for the big events, he adds. “It’s a way of life — we try to nurture those relationships and stay present in each other’s lives.”

That’s something Ashtyn has always noticed about her dad. “He’s never quiet about our accomplishments — he hypes us up, he posts about it, he brags on us,” she says. “But when it comes to his own, he downplays everything.”

That humility, she says, is part of what made the TikTok resonate so deeply. “People were like, I wish my dad was like this,” she says. “And it made me realize how lucky I am.”

Daughter Ashtyn decided to make a quickie TikTok of Jon walking in his commencement, and she caught his complete surprise to see his family in the audience.

WATCH:

That quiet act of thoughtfulness is exactly why Ashtyn felt compelled to film the moment. Her TikTok, posted with the caption “no because why is he so precious in his cap & gown,” went viral overnight.

“There are a lot of people out there who don’t have family like this,” he tells PEOPLE. “And something simple we might take for granted — like being surrounded by your loved ones — can be really meaningful.”

Ashtyn says watching her dad graduate was a perspective shift. “You grow up thinking your parents have mastered everything,” she says. “But then you see your dad doing something for the first time, too, and it’s really inspiring.”

She calls it a “sweet moment” seeing him walk across the stage surrounded by classmates decades younger than him. “He just looked so proud and humble,” she says. “It was honestly adorable.”

Even though Jon was, at first, embarrassed by the video’s response, he came to realize that it gave people something to strive for, and even hope. 

“If a six-second video helps someone feel seen or inspired, then maybe it’s not so silly after all,” he says.

May we all continue to grow, inspire, and passionately pursue the life we’ve been given and passionately pursue one another. Another favorite saying I hold to: “Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.”

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