Mental Health Is Real Wealth: how Black men prioritize healing ‘in this white world’ | Los Angeles

Desmond Carter is on a mission to save the lives of black men.

Carter, founder of Mental Health Is Real Wealth, leads a biweekly mental health group in the Leimert Park neighborhood of Los Angeles, and on a recent Thursday, 15 black men gathered in a no-pressure, no-woman conference room.

As the men entered, they hit each other and leaned in to kiss. Many wore LA accessories – LA snapbacks, shirts with Crenshaw District signs and had various hairstyles – some had locs, fades and others had braids. The youngest man was 19 years old. There were several men more than twice his age. They were all there because they realized one thing: it’s important to be vulnerable and take care of your mental health.

Before starting their session, Carter, 37, told them about his best friend who died by suicide after being diagnosed with schizophrenic depression. It’s a story he’s told many times.

“This happened literally 10 years ago, and it’s still hard,” said Carter, who remembers his friend as funny, flighty and smart. But he often hid his diagnosis and said he was fine. “It led me to do what I do now. I see so many of my peers and people who look like me walking around, flying, fresh, fresh with the weight of the world on their shoulders and acting like they’re fine.”

The group is just one of a handful of safe spaces founded by Black men for men to completely let their guard down, and exists at a time when suicide rates among Black boys and men have increased 25.3 percent in recent years. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that suicide is the third leading cause of death among black adolescents and young adults. Black boys and men account for the overwhelming majority of suicides among the black population.

And right now, black men exist between a rock and a hard place.

Before and after the peak of the Covid era, healthy spaces were limited for black men to fully express themselves emotionally. Black men are less likely to seek mental health support. And even when they do, they are more likely to receive substandard, culturally incompetent care rooted in racist health disparities, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.

Research shows that the Covid-19 pandemic has increased loneliness and isolation among the general population. While there are public debates about the validity of a “male loneliness epidemic” and the impact of online misogyny in the “manosphere” in general, there is one thing that is understudied and overlooked: Black men and their mental health.

Lance Lenford, a psychologist, said he noticed a change in society during and after Covid. Gen This is especially true for black men.

“I think there’s this space where we’re figuring out how to be and how to exist in this white world where we’re trying to spread our own wings and be who we think we’re supposed to be, or who we can be…” Lenford said. “But you hit this wall, and you get to a point where it’s like I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore.”

For older black men, there is also an identity crisis as they begin to think more about what retirement can look like for them and the ideal image of what they want, without adding up. These issues are exacerbated once Black Gen X and Millennial men become fathers due to the financial pressures of parenting.

While black millennial men now spend more time with their children than other groups and more than previous generations, when they’re stressed, they may not have the time or money to seek therapy, Lenford said. There is also the fact of not having the chance to discover your own identity before having a child.

“You have this duality: ‘I have to be the provider,’” Lenford said. “I have to be the person I want to be, and I believe I am, and I presented myself as being, but I also kind of fall apart because I don’t really know where I’m going or how I’m really doing this.”

Significant challenges facing black men include economic, health care and educational disparities, as well as systemic racism and social injustice, according to the American Psychological Association. Additionally, deaths of despair – deaths from suicide, alcohol use and drug overdoses are now higher among blacks than whites.

Besides the disadvantages of living in a patriarchal society and having to take on the caregiving role as men in general, the black men in Carter’s group said they faced specific pressures: to act tough, already know how to do certain tasks, be strong, and not show emotion.

Some men were enticed to come to the meeting because another man told them to come. Others expressed stress, depression, or feeling like the world was falling apart. They expressed the adjustment that comes from feeling like they are losing their masculinity, lifestyle, and friendships due to the responsibilities of family life and parenting.

“If I can do anything, if I look back and look at their lives and see that they didn’t do this, that they didn’t speak out,” said one of the men, whose father and grandfather had a history of bipolar disorder. “They were crazy, and it took years, and then they got even crazier. And then something happened in their lives, something changed.”

Wayne Bennett, president of Mental Health is Wealth and a corporate wellness consultant and men’s life coach in Los Angeles, helps men develop healthier ways to express their emotions, whether in a professional or personal sense. He said the group serves as a safe space for men where they don’t have to wear masks. Its specific goal is to help men break generational cycles and promote emotional expression.

“A lot of men say they’re depressed or that they didn’t have any type of leadership growing up and that they just have to fend for themselves,” Bennett, 41, said. “A lot of men may have never been to therapy before, so this is a great gateway to getting into therapy.”

In Los Angeles, an area that has a unique history of police brutality, gangs, and mass incarceration – all disproportionately affecting black men, they must wear a guard. Bennett said he has spoken to black men and they expect their interaction to be transactional, career-oriented or aggressive. There is a lack of trust that men need to build among themselves in Los Angeles, he added.

Carter started the group in 2022 as a preventative measure to encourage black men like himself to consider counseling and therapy. He said talking to other black men also healed him.

“I just wanted it to be a space where they could kind of shed, not only shed, but celebrate their victories,” he said. “I want this space so people and our brothers can get their flowers.”