Terminally ill woman invited friends to make a casket : NPR
MaddyChristine Hope Brokopp weaves the bottom of a funeral tray. Brokopp asked his friends to weave his board after a cancer diagnosis.
Nicolas Neves
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Nicolas Neves
When MaddyChristine Hope Brokopp was diagnosed with terminal cancer, one thing she was sure of was that she wanted to make her own coffin. Brokopp is in his fifties. She is undergoing treatment for her cancer, but it is unclear how much time she has. An online search found a Massachusetts craftsman who could help her make her dream come true – and even bring friends to do it with her. The artisan in question, Mary Lauren Fraser, is a coffin weaver.
Winter is still in full swing on Valentine’s Day in Massachusetts’ Pioneer Valley, when Brokopp and his friends make the road trip from Pennsylvania. They park their caravan of cars on the packed snow in front of Fraser’s workshop, at the edge of the tree line. Fraser greets them with a kettle of peppermint tea and shows them around the space where they will spend the next two days working on the object that will be used to drive their friend into the ground.
Most of the friends already knew each other, but they each come from different eras of Brokopp’s life. Cynthia Siegers is one of Brokopp’s oldest friends and she came from the Netherlands to participate. In addition to Valentine’s Day, today is also Siegers’ birthday. “Weirdest birthday she’s ever had,” jokes Brokopp.
Mary Lauren Fraser is a Massachusetts artisan who has been weaving coffins for 11 years.
Nicolas Neves
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Nicolas Neves
At the center of her library, Fraser keeps the urn she made to hold her grandfather’s ashes before they were scattered.
Nicolas Neves
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Nicolas Neves
Fraser’s studio has a library consisting of two sections: basketry (with books on willow and weaving) and death (with books by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Sherwin Nuland and others). Around the room are circular trays, baskets, baby cradles and a few finished coffins that Fraser keeps propped against a window. “Everyone has seen a wicker basket in their grandmother’s house,” Fraser says, referring to the appearance of the finished coffins. The sides and woven lids of his coffins are affixed to pine boards. It specializes in making coffins and “burial trays” – which look like coffins, but with a woven back and no lid. Brokopp chose to have a board.
Fraser has already lined up the five pine stems (“the ribs,” she says) that will make up the bottom of Brokopp’s burial tray. “MaddyChristine is five-five, so I’ll do the tray five-seven or five-eight,” Fraser says, drawing a pencil line at the end of the midrib.
The weaving begins
On the first day of weaving, Brokopp and his friends take turns placing willow branches between the ribs of the pine tree. Brokopp volunteers to start. Before the weekend, she wasn’t sure how she would feel working on her own coffin.
“I like the material, I like the feel,” she says, pressing her palm against the rows of willows, “because it’s cool and damp,” she pauses. “But I don’t really feel a lot of emotion or anything.”
Brokopp knew it might be difficult for his friends to say yes to his invitation. But for Brokopp, it wasn’t so much about focusing on his death as it was an opportunity to reunite his friends. “I just wanted to have fun doing this. And I realized it was good too. I don’t need to cry here doing this.”
MaddyChristine Hope Brokopp volunteers to start weaving a section of the back of the board.
Nicolas Neves
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David D’Amico takes turns weaving the back of the set as MaddyChristine Hope Brokopp and Cynthia Siegers look on.
Nicolas Neves
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Nicolas Neves
While they work, they eat chocolate and talk about their trip to Massachusetts, their children, and their plans for the spring. They make jokes and tell stories. In many ways, friends say it feels like an ordinary weekend. “Yeah, this looks like a team-building exercise we’re doing together,” says David D’Amico as he inserts another piece of willow into the bottom of the tray.
We also have the feeling, explains Brokopp, that the whole exercise seems a little surreal. “It’s just, can I really understand that I’m making my tray – my coffin?” Brokop said. “I don’t know if I can.”
Sitting with Brokopp on the couch, Nita Landis reaches out and takes her friend’s hand. “I don’t think any of us can do it.” The other friends continue to have fun and laugh about something. “We were…Pam (Clayborne) and I were saying as we were going up, we know what we’re going to do, but there’s just no way to imagine the moment when we’ll drop you on that set, because that’s not where we are right now.”
After a few hours of work, the friends prepare to return to their hotel for the night. D’Amico finishes his thought. “Maybe tonight it will hit some of us – what we just did today. But right now it seems too far away.”
Maybe tonight it will hit some of us – what we just did today
On the morning of the second and last day, the tray is placed on the table in the center of the workshop. Fraser has woven long pieces of willow into the sides, which stand straight like tall grass. The friends get to work. Today, unlike yesterday, they are able to weave all at the same time, with each friend weaving part of the board.
Shortly after, Brokopp sits down on the sofa. “I’ve been feeling pretty tired since yesterday.” The day on her feet had left her exhausted. “So I probably watch more than I do anything.”
MaddyChristine Hope Brokopp and his friends weave the sides of the funeral tray.
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Mary Lauren Fraser wrestles with the willow into the shape of a hood above the board.
Nicolas Neves
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Nicolas Neves
Friends do their best. But it’s much more delicate than yesterday. Fraser says that in reality, each stage of weaving is difficult, technical and time-consuming. Fraser prepares the willow by soaking it in water and wrapping it in wool, sometimes even freezing it to prevent its fibers from drying out. And the weaving itself involves special types of braiding – “waling” and “randing”, among others, to transform the willow into patterns that are both beautiful and structurally sound. The only reason the friends can do any of the weaving processes is because Fraser gives them the easy parts.
But even then, Fraser spots a mistake and has to stop them to fix it. She gently denounces their “mishap” and the friends jokingly throw blame around the room while Fraser undoes their work.
Bringing the coffin home
Friends came from far and wide to do this. They sneak in cautiously, calmly focused, while Brokopp watches them from the sofa. “It’s such a generous gift that they all came,” she reflects, and for a minute the sound of willow branches fills the room. It’s his friendship, she explains, that makes him so special. “They’re doing something that I’m going to be a part of.”
MaddyChristine Hope Brokopp and Mary Lauren Fraser stand behind Brokopp’s completed funeral platter.
Nicolas Neves
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Nicolas Neves
Finally, the long strands are cut, the handles are put in place and the hood is expertly curved and angled over the head of the board. All that’s left are the finishing touches. Fraser turns to Brokopp. “Do you think you want to lie down? Try it?”
“I thought about it,” Brokopp said, “And I think I don’t want to try it.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Fraser lets out a small laugh. Landis, standing with his arms crossed next to Brokopp, agrees. “It’s not time yet.”
The completed burial tray is a long basket made of light browns, oranges and greens. The texture of the willow is broken up by a white cotton rope sewn into the side, to form six handles. With Fraser’s help, the friends lift the empty tray from the table and carry it out of the workshop into the snow together. “I wish we all talked about death a little more easily, because we all face it,” says Brokopp. “I knew some of my friends would have a hard time doing this, and I asked them anyway, and they still came. So it’s a gift they gave me, and I hope I gave them a gift too.”
