Thanks for asking after my health, but actually I’m doing just fine | Adrian Chiles

I wrote an article a few weeks ago calling out the anonymity of dealing with the NHS about what I believe is known as a person’s care journey. My point is that it might be effective if downsizing in administrative departments is what matters in terms of efficiency, but not if the goal is clear communication. The whole communications palaver around the path to diagnosis was more of a drama than the diagnosis itself, which was for a very benign variant of skin cancer. As much as I love to feel sorry for myself and indulge in catastrophizing, even I couldn’t panic about it. So I certainly wasn’t trying to generate sympathy or concern by overdoing it, and I was as careful as possible to convey that.
But then a few media outlets ran clickbait headlines like AC REVEALS HE HAS CANCER. And everything went crazy; thoughts and prayers poured in from all sides. There were family and friends – who I hadn’t told because I didn’t think it was worth mentioning. There were people I hadn’t heard from in years.
At first I was just embarrassed. Then I got a little annoyed: hadn’t anyone gotten past the headlines and read the articles, all of which made it clear it was nothing serious? And then I felt bad for feeling annoyed because people were just being nice.
And yet, the thoughts and prayers came – from a beleaguered family I know in Jerusalem, and from friends whose lives have been – or are – at stake with more serious forms of cancer. And the more I protested that it was nothing, the more I began to worry that it might be something after all, as if everyone knew something that I didn’t.
I went to see West Brom play Queens Park Rangers. In the pub, a huge, rather dangerous looking guy took my hands in his, looked me in the eyes and told me he would pray for me in church on Sunday. A guy who ran a burger van said: “I’ve been through that, buddy. Terrible.” The poor man was very ill with intestinal cancer. I did my best to conjure up words to express compassion without implying that I was remotely in the same boat. But maybe, in the nicest way possible, he took some comfort from having me in the same boat.
It was a lot. I still feel bad about all the restlessness. But most of all, I am grateful to live in what seems to be a caring world. And I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.
Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and columnist for the Guardian
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