The Dark Side of the Modern Male Body ‘Ideal’

When I asked real people why they post their workouts online, I received over a hundred responses, many of which were filled with explanations of body image issues and unattainable beauty standards. This didn’t surprise me. What surprised me was that the majority of these responses came from men.

Carefully measured chicken and rice, obsessive tracking of macros, guilt when a workout is missed: on social media, these behaviors are couched in the language of performance and strength. The same rituals that would be clear indications of disordered behavior in women are redefined as “discipline” and “optimization” for men. How many men suffer in silence because eating disorders are coded as a women’s problem? How many cases go unnoticed when presented as a “healthy diet” or “serious workout”? When eating disorders and body dysmorphia are rebranded as “fitness goals,” many men find themselves struggling in plain sight.

Men can also have eating disorders

Boys and men are making up now about a third of people diagnosed with eating disorders, and this figure likely underestimates the crisis. In particular, muscle dysmorphia, sometimes calledbigorexia“- is characterized by excessive and compulsive exercise, a persistent belief that one is not muscular enough, and an obsession with muscle mass, size, and thinness.

Unfortunately, much of fitness culture enables men to engage in disordered behaviors by wrapping them in performance language. “Bumping” and “grinding” cycles can mask seriously problematic eating habits. Without giving some of the men in my life an armchair diagnosis, I can confidently say that I have seen the mental consequences when a person’s extreme calorie restriction becomes “cutting” or compulsive exercise becomes “staying on track.”

Not surprisingly, social media amplifies these harmful messages. Mason Boudrye, who describes himself as “someone known for posting gratuitous thirst traps,” shared with me the mental toll of always trying to appear a certain way. “Even though people don’t agree that obsessive following and strict adherence to a diet is considered an eating disorder, I know it’s true for me,” he says. Social media makes these feelings even more public and persistent.

We all cycle through streams of chemically enhanced physics presented as natural and achievable. This naturally breeds more self-examination, more comparison, and more perceptions of inadequacy. Yoga instructor Matthew Singer says most “fitspo” (fitness inspiration) “are as useful for fitness as previous winning lottery numbers are for winning millions. Fitspo cannot take into account genetics, work and family circumstances, medical history, or any of the countless other factors that influence health outcomes.” Our bodies are treated as projects always to be corrected, devoid of essential context.

What bothers me the most is how men can’t call out their disorderly behavior by name. There is both a misconception about who is affected by eating disorders and a deep reluctance among affected men to seek help for a problem they have been socialized to deal with on their own. Society has constructed a masculine ideal that equates vulnerability with weakness, making it nearly impossible for some men to admit that they are struggling with their relationship with food and their bodies.

Unattainable beauty standards remain unattainable

Botox injections in men may be called “Brotox,” but a cheeky nickname shouldn’t hide the fact that unattainable beauty standards lead men to take more extreme measures. Dr Claudia Kim of New look, new life Cosmetic surgery says it has noted an increase in the number of men turning to beauty treatments: jawline contouring, eye contour correction, hair restoration, skin rejuvenation. “These approaches deliver visible but discreet results with little downtime,” says Kim, fitting seamlessly into lives that were never meant to include these concerns.

What’s telling, Kim adds, is that her male patients are usually entering the aesthetic field for the first time. In this sense, men are catching up to the beauty regimes that women have followed for generations and gradually learning what women have long understood: that appearance affects career success, social capital, and romantic prospects—and the goals are always in motion. At the same time, the masculine ideal requires stoic self-sufficiency, even if it requires expensive and constant aesthetic work.

What does all this mean for the average person on an average budget? The treatments Kim describes — jawline contouring, hair restoration, cosmetic procedures — don’t come cheap. Supplements, meal preparation services, personal trainers, specialized equipment, etc. are not either. Beauty standards increasingly require you to spend more money, which means your appearance is yet another area of ​​health where the class determines the results. And if they can’t afford to look like what they feel obligated to look like, men are especially left behind and suffer in silence.

As a woman, I spent most of my life jealous of the way men were allowed to age, gain weight, or simply be in their body without constant intervention. Today, I have a more sympathetic outlook, especially after hearing so many men admit that they were never given the language to shamelessly express their aesthetic concerns.

The essentials

There’s a big difference between taking care of yourself and feeling like your body is never good enough. By meticulously tracking every calorie, every repetition, every perceived flaw, why should one woman’s obvious eating disorder be another man’s enviable feat?

Women have been battling body image issues and unattainable beauty standards since birth, but many men have never learned how to fight this particular war. For me, the takeaway is that we all need to be on the same side. To fight this war, we need a more honest conversation about what we are doing to men’s relationships with their bodies. Until we recognize this, all this talk of “reduction” and “discipline” will allow dangerous behavior to continue to hide in plain sight.