Track your steps? Here’s a less obvious way to improve your health

When it comes to wellness trends, small talk isn’t sexy. The same goes for participating in civic government or helping a neighbor carry groceries. But connecting with others might be the ultimate form of self-care, according to psychiatrist Joanna Cheek.

In her book “It’s Not You, It’s the World: A Mental Health Survival Guide for All of Us,” published in February, the University of British Columbia professor advocates for the health benefits of group care. For example, Cheek cites research that links altruistic behavior and a sense of purpose to reduced inflammation, as opposed to hedonistic activities, which can make inflammation worse.

Perhaps most importantly, Cheek warns that individual solutions are not enough to protect and heal us. “Emotional alarms” such as fear, guilt, shame and anger are healthy signals that help us avoid obstacles and find rewards, she says. When it comes to poverty, discrimination, isolation, and other systemic problems, a sense of “moral distress” alerts us to danger and points us toward a more just and equitable society. And taking small steps to connect with others — even as simple as engaging in idle conversation with a stranger — can be an impetus for broader change.

“I constantly try to think about socializing in the same way that I think about exercise or physical activity,” says Cheek. “In the same way that I eat a certain amount of vegetables or have a certain amount of quiet time to meditate, I ask myself, ‘Did I have enough social contact today?’ »

People obsessively follow their footsteps. They might also want to count their social interactions, she says. These moments can build trust, until the momentum transforms us and the communities in which we live.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

In the book, you cite the famous Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who wrote: “Happiness cannot be sought. It must flow from it. » Why should we focus on finding purpose rather than finding happiness?

Numerous studies show that cultivating any emotional state—happiness in particular, but also calm or lack of anxiety—backfires. The more we try to feel a certain way, inevitably we won’t, because we don’t have much control over how we feel and we will then compare it to a certain standard of how we feel. should feel, which will only amplify our suffering.

Rather than chasing an emotion, which is futile because our emotions are constantly changing, we can pursue a goal, which gives us a lasting sense of accomplishment because we live in accordance with our values. This is true well-being.

How can people who feel isolated take steps to cultivate purpose with others?

There was a large study that reviewed studies on loneliness. This showed that it had the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. I was completely shocked when I read this, I started diving deep and came across

Gillian Sandstrom. Her research shows that connections don’t have to be with the love of our life, a close-knit family or best friends. When we connect with a barista at the coffee shop, someone delivering the mail, or just saying hello to a neighbor walking their dog in front of you, these weak ties actually have the same benefits as having very deep personal relationships. She conducted a study with students at her university and found that even if they didn’t have friends in class, if they talked to strangers, they felt better and had better indicators of well-being.

When we are separated from others, we haven’t really evolved as quickly, which sets off alarms in our bodies. When you talk to someone at the grocery store, it’s like, “Oh, I’m not alone, I’m okay, I belong to something.” » It silences these alarms so they don’t continue to go off.

So it is beneficial for us to have social interactions. How does this help our communities?

The more we connect with each other, the more we talk across differences, the more we talk with people with different lived experiences, different politics, different cultural backgrounds, different ages, different health levels, different abilities and needs, then we can have more empathy and truly care for each other and make decisions based on the truth that we are all connected.

Building community can start with weak ties. It can be really scary joining a new group in person. When we talk about anxiety, we’re talking about gradual exposure, where we don’t expose ourselves to the scariest things right away. So, sometimes small steps can help us become familiar with weak ties. Then, over time, we can move towards deeper contact.

I just had knee surgery this summer and ended up walking in the pool a lot to rehab, and I was amazed by this community pool. There were all these people who were either retired or injured during the day and I was having so many conversations. And very often we think that these connections don’t matter because we are not building a friendship that could last. What’s the point? The point is, through every interaction, we build a sense of community for everyone. And there doesn’t need to be more than one interaction. This helps create a feeling that we can trust and learn from each other. It feels good to be connected and it makes us want to care for each other.

You mention the term McMindfulness in the book. Could you describe what this means and why it can be harmful?

Yes, there are many concerns about quick fixes for mental health. I talk a lot about how mental health is really about the health of our entire systems. When we face this, it can be overwhelming to recognize that we cannot be well until our systems are well. We can practice wellness, we can do our best, but feeling better in a sick world is not going to cure us. We must repair the world. McMindfulness takes people into a toxic workplace and teaches them mindfulness lessons without changing the toxic structures of the workplace. We should ask ourselves, “Why are they showing these symptoms? And how can we make this workplace healthy so our workers don’t get sick all the time?”

People need a sense of agency to thrive. But looking at major problems from a systemic perspective can make us feel like we don’t have control over our lives. How to reconcile the two?

Every connection we have, every time we live in a way with care and kindness, when we offer mutual aid or care for our neighbors, those little things become contagious. On a daily basis, we can choose whether we will share our resources, whether it is our time, our care, our inclusiveness. Every time we choose to care for others, it’s contagious. It creates a culture. And every little connection like that counts. So while stress and dysfunction can ripple outward, I think our kindness, unity, and caring can also ripple outward.

This sounds wonderfully optimistic.

I think a lot about hope and I think hope has to be active. I think we can’t just passively wish for a better future. And so I like to think about the agency I have today. There is no need to become the next world leader or find a cure for cancer. What matters is every little decision I make to make the world a little brighter.