Trump wins his peace prize from Fifa – any chance of a VAR review? | Donald Trump
There was as much drama and suspense as reading a dictionary or watching election results from North Korea.
To no one’s surprise, Donald Trump won FIFA’s top prize for peace on Friday in a cheesy, gaudy, left-field World Cup draw cleverly designed to flatter the world’s most precious ego.
“This is your price – this is your peace price!” » exclaimed Gianni Infantino, the bald president of Fifa, after Trump took the stage at the John F Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in snowy Washington.
There, on a pedestal, with “Donald J. Trump” emblazoned across it in capital letters, was the uncoveted trophy: a golden globe resting on five golden hands large enough to compensate any small-handed recipient who felt sore about the Nobel Peace Prize.
But wait, there was more. “There is also a nice medal for you that you can wear wherever you want to go,” Infantino added, knowing that with Trump, there is no such thing as too much.
More orange than usual under the stage lights, Trump eagerly placed the medal around his neck, without waiting for Infantino to do the honors. He told 2,000 people: “This is truly one of the greatest honors of my life. »
He was a Norwegian football commentator who once memorably celebrated victory over England by shouting: “Maggie Thatcher… your boys have taken quite a beating!” » Now Fifa had created its own “Norwegian Nobel Committee… your boys took quite a beating!” » reproaches the organization which snubbed its favorite president.
Foreign leaders such as Keir Starmer and Benjamin Netanyahu have learned over the past year that flattering Trump is like giving gold candy to a baby. The more blatant and obvious it is, the better it works. Now, thanks to Infantino, Trump was center stage at the world’s greatest sporting spectacle.
The story rhymes, that’s for sure. Benito Mussolini used the 1934 World Cup in Italy to promote the resurgence of the Roman Empire. Before each match, the Italian team performed the “Roman salute”. Il Duce even created a special trophy, the “Coppa del Duce”, six times larger than the official Jules Rimet World Cup trophy.
The last time the United States hosted the World Cup, in 1994, the draw was held in Las Vegas and President Bill Clinton was not present. But Infantino, who sees America as the unsung land of soccer profiteering, pursued Trump as ardently as Count Dracula crossing the oceans of time to reunite with his lost love.
The Fifa supremo was spotted at Trump’s second inauguration earlier this year and is a regular guest at the Oval Office and his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. He made no objection when Trump bulldozed his way into Chelsea’s Club World Cup celebration. FIFA even opened a new office in Trump Tower in New York.
So the final World Cup draw took place without irony at the Kennedy Center, where Senate Democrats opened an investigation into allegations of cronyism and corruption under the leadership of a Trump appointee, right next to the Watergate building, where a burglary and cover-up brought down Richard Nixon.
This is all very Fifa.
The extravaganza began with Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli singing the aria Nessun Dorma, which translates to “No one will sleep” – a subtle criticism of the president who has recently been seen dozing during meetings?
The hosts were model and presenter Heidi Klum, dressed in a shimmering gold dress, and comedian Kevin Hart, dressed in a black sweater with a sparkling necklace. There was the usual montage of football clips, including Diego Maradona’s second for Argentina against England in 1986 – perhaps Trump, often accused of cheating at golf, would have preferred Maradona’s brazen “Hand of God” first.
Trump, who coined the phrase “truthful hyperbole” in his book The Art of the Deal, would surely have admired the way Infantino said: “This will not only be the greatest football event, it will be the greatest event in the history of mankind, the greatest event that mankind has ever witnessed…It’s like 104 Super Bowls in one month.” »
The Lex Luthor of world football prompted the Americans in the audience to chant “USA!” USA! USA! » then the Canadians chanted “Canada, Canada, Canada!” and Mexicans to chant “Mexico, Mexico, Mexico!” Then, after a raucous display from Nicole Scherzinger and Robbie Williams, it was time for Trump’s moment to shine.
As a glossy video played, a voiceover tried to convince everyone that the award wasn’t entirely made up for Trump’s benefit. “Peace creates hope and football translates that hope into unity,” he said.
“We pay tribute to a dynamic leader who engaged in diplomatic efforts creating opportunities for dialogue, de-escalation and stability and who championed the unifying power of football on the world stage.”
It was a more verbose justification than the Dodo offered in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland: “All must have prices.” »
The narration ran through the dubious list of eight conflicts that Trump claims to have resolved during his 10 months in office. He does not mention his appeasement of Russia’s Vladimir Putin or the extrajudicial execution of dozens of anonymous, untried people on small boats in the Caribbean. Is there any chance of VAR on this decision?
The audience was treated to slow-motion video of Trump at the Gaza peace summit, Trump meeting with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, Trump signing the Abraham Accords, Trump meeting the leaders of the Democratic Republic of Congo and Rwanda – and Infantino giving him a thumbs up like a proud soccer dad.
Then came the presentation, and shortly after, Trump took the stage alongside Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney and Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum behind plastic stands, as if he were on a game show. The US president tried to attack Ted Lasso, recalling watching Pele play for the New York Cosmos and admitting that football should be called “soccer”.
Once the coin toss was convoluted, did Trump’s eyes remain open? – was over, the show ended like a Trump rally with the Village People singing the YMCA. The president had had his prize and Infantino had had his man. Next Oscars stop?
