Why I’ll need earplugs to get through Christmas dinner

Lottie is looking forward to spending time with her family this Christmas, but says one of the only ways she can cope is by wearing her earplugs – especially during Christmas dinner.

For a 23-year-old, Christmas can be a particularly difficult time, as the noises of others, chewing, slurping and sniffing make her extremely uncomfortable.

“I have this feeling of sudden panic, my whole body is going to tense up and I feel like I’m in danger, and I have to somehow control these noises.”

Lottie has suffered from misophonia since she was 16 and for her it makes the festive period “incredibly overwhelming”.

Misophonia is a reduced tolerance to certain sounds, especially those made by other people.

This is surprisingly common in the UK. In 2023, researchers from King’s College London and the University of Oxford found that almost one in five people suffered from it.

It is often the sounds associated with movements of the mouth, throat or face that cause distress, as well as things like chewing, breathing and repetitive finger tapping.

Lottie says: “There are so many different trigger sounds at Christmas and it can cause anxiety and make you dread.

“My family is understanding, but I’m very aware that I don’t want to make other people uncomfortable. It feels like a really big battle of sacrificing my own mental health to make sure everyone is happy.”

So it’s easy to understand why the most wonderful time of the year can quickly turn into a nightmare for people with this condition.

Sounds that may seem harmless or easy to ignore, like someone sipping Buck’s fizz, rustling a roll of wrapping paper, or enjoying Christmas dinner, can trigger a strong emotional response that may even cause them to avoid social environments altogether.

Jenna, a 21-year-old college student who has struggled with misophonia since she was 10, says she’s currently considering putting on her headphones to get through dinner. On other days, she usually isolated herself in another room to avoid triggering sounds.

She says her misophonia is worst with the people she’s closest to, so Christmas is always “a challenge.”

“We expect to spend time with family, and I want that, but it’s a physical and mental challenge.

“It’s like uncontrollable anger takes over me, which can be embarrassing, or I feel anxious and immediately start crying, and then fight or flight will kick in.

“It can make me seem difficult and dramatic, but it’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it.”

If this is a problem you suffer from, there are different techniques you can try to resolve, according to clinical psychologist Dr Jane Gregory, who told the BBC’s Morning Live programme:

1. Visualize something else: Imagination is key. Try associating the particular sound that affects you with something completely different. So, for example, try to imagine that someone’s drink is just a sink that drains water. By doing this, you are trying to teach your brain that the sound affecting you is not harmful.
2. Try a competition: Have a little fun with it and make some irritating noise a competition with the culprit. For example, if someone shouts loudly, try to imitate the sound and shout loudly too. By imitating, instead of feeling like the sound is being imposed on you, you become an active participant. And the competition element should help your brain focus on that and make you a little less affected.
3. Create a scenario: Another technique is to try to create a little story explaining why the person making the noise should make that sound. So if someone was sniffling, for example, they might not feel well or be upset. By doing this you change the meaning of the sound. Although the noise remains the same, your interpretation changes from aggravating to feeling a little more neutral towards it.