Woman Accuses Co-Workers of Being ‘Stingy’ Because They Won’t Help Fund Honeymoon 1 Year After Buying Gifts for Her Wedding

NEED TO KNOW

• A woman has accused her colleagues of being “greedy” because they don’t want to help fund her “luxury” honeymoon, a year after buying her wedding gifts.

• Items she wants include a plane ticket, a rental car, side trips and cash starting at $75.

• “We are modestly paid teachers and a trip to South America is well beyond our budgets,” one of his colleagues wrote in a letter to a columnist.

A woman has accused her colleagues of being “greedy” because they don’t want to help fund her belated honeymoon – but they think she’s “selfish” and “ill-mannered”.

One of his colleagues detailed the dilemma in a letter to the “Dear Eric” advice column, published by Mercury news. They started by asking, “Should I tell a coworker that many of her coworkers criticize her for being selfish and self-centered?” before explaining the circumstances.

They said the woman had married a year ago but did not take a honeymoon at that time because she and her partner – both aged in their 40s – had just taken a two-week trip to Europe before their wedding.

But now they’ve decided they want a “dream honeymoon” at a luxury resort in South America – and the woman expects her colleagues to help make it happen.

“To pay, they created an account on a honeymoon crowdfunding website and are letting everyone know they would like us all to participate,” the person seeking advice wrote, noting that the woman is asking for items such as airfare, side trips, a rental car, resort expenses and cash “starting at $75.”

The individual pointed out that they – along with several of their colleagues – had given the woman “a lovely wedding present” a year ago. “We are modestly paid teachers and a trip to South America is well beyond our budgets,” they wrote.

However, the woman said she was far from reaching her honeymoon fund goal and was “disappointed that we were being stingy.”

“Behind her back, people are blaming her for being clueless and bad manners, both because she asked us to pay for her late honeymoon and then because she blamed us for not being more generous,” the person seeking advice said.

The individual then explained that he felt conflicted about how to handle this delicate situation.

“I don’t want to tell her anything (or give her money). But I’m afraid that if I don’t tell her, no one will and she’ll have no idea why she might lose friends,” they explained.

They concluded their letter by asking if it would be a “kind thing” to say something to the woman or if they should instead “take the easy route and keep quiet.”

In his response, columnist R. Eric Thomas made it clear that he felt the woman had crossed the line by pushing her co-workers to contribute to her honeymoon fund.

“My goodness, was there a sale at the Audacity store? I wonder where some people get them,” he wrote.

“It’s perfectly fine to make it easy for people to give gifts and show their love, but it’s inappropriate and rude to criticize people for not paying the money, especially when a gift has already been given,” he continued. “Wedding fundraising pages are not bills that require payment or risk ruining credit.”

As for whether the person seeking advice should tell the woman that people “get angry at her request,” Eric argued that would likely be a futile attempt, “given that neither insight nor common sense were on her record.”

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Instead of communicating on behalf of the group, he suggested that the person consider talking to the woman about how she personally feels about the situation.

“If you decide this is a relationship you want to save, tell her you’re happy for her, but that it bothers you to be called a miser for not getting her a second gift,” Eric advised. “As a friend, I hope she can listen and adjust her attitude.”

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