What on Earth is Melania Trump thinking? | Arwa Mahdawi

You’ve probably heard of the Barbra Streisand effect: the phenomenon where attempts to censor information end up drawing more attention to it.

We may soon be referring to the Melania Trump effect: the phenomenon where holding a surprise press conference to declare that you have no relationship with a dead pedophile and that you would like people to stop speculating on the subject, immediately causes people to start speculating on the subject.

On Thursday, for reasons no one really understands, the first lady decided to tell the world to ignore all the rumors circulating about her ties to Jeffrey Epstein because she “never had a relationship” with the late sex offender or his accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell. Yes, she had met Epstein, but she barely knew him. Yes, there are photos of Epstein, Maxwell and the Trumps together, but that’s no big deal.

Trump acknowledged writing a friendly email to Maxwell, signed “Love, Melania,” but ignored it. “I [have] I was never friends with Epstein,” she insisted. “I am not Epstein’s victim. Epstein didn’t introduce me to Donald Trump. She also called on Congress to take sworn testimony from Epstein’s victims in a public hearing. (Maybe you could have just asked your husband to do that, Melania? I hear he’s pretty high up in politics.)

You don’t need to be a PR expert to realize that releasing a statement like this was a deeply strange decision. The world’s attention was diverted from Epstein by the war on Iran, but this unexpected press conference put the Trump family’s relationship with the late financier back in the headlines. If the first lady hoped to dispel certain rumors and draw a line under the subject, she cruelly failed. It’s also unclear whether the president, who urged people to leave Epstein, knew Melania planned to speak out about it.

So what’s going on? The official explanation is simply that Trump “speak out now because enough is enough.” However, speculation is growing that a big story may be about to be dropped, causing panic in the White House and an attempt to get ahead of the narrative.

I have another possible explanation. And the Trumps are not only morally bankrupt, they are also very, very stupid. Many people seem reluctant to acknowledge this about the president; they will tie themselves in knots trying to argue that his erratic actions actually represent a genius playing four-dimensional chess. He is not Really crazy, they insist, he just played one on Truth Social! I understand why people want to believe this: it’s comforting to think that there is some sort of method behind this madness. But if there is a method, I certainly don’t see it. All I see is a man who thinks he can make his way through life.

Here’s the problem: even if you’re lucky enough to have “a very high IQ,” when you’re as rich and powerful as the Trumps, you can easily lose perspective. People rarely say “no” to you. Your employees don’t tell you your ideas are ridiculous because they don’t want to lose their jobs. Melania may not be president, but she’s in the same bubble of sycophants as her husband. It’s possible she just thought she could hold a press conference and order all of us plebs to stop talking about her, and we would immediately obey.

On the contrary, the First Lady has now created a public relations nightmare for herself. In a statement released Thursday, a group of Epstein survivors accused Trump of “shifting the burden onto survivors under politicized conditions to protect those in power.” They added that his statement “distracts attention from [former attorney general] Pam Bondi, who must answer for the files withheld and the revelation of the identity of the survivors. These failures continue to put lives at risk while protecting catalysts. The survivors did their part. Now is the time for those in power to do theirs.”

Unfortunately, there appears to be very little chance of this happening. Bondi said that because she is no longer attorney general, she will not appear on April 14 for a scheduled deposition to answer questions about the Justice Department’s handling of the Epstein cases. This will not, of course, prevent us from asking broader questions: Melania Trump’s press conference ensured that. Unless, of course, the first lady convinces her husband to invade another country or kill a few more schoolchildren to distract people for a while. If a bombshell about the Trump-Epstein relationship is about to drop, it seems the White House has the right to drown it out in a full-blown explosion.

Is it illegal to call Trump an asshole while wearing a penis costume?

I guess we’ll find out if it’s punishable or not. Renea Gamble, 62, was recently arrested after displaying the dick-tator sign and phallic costume at a No Kings Rally in Alabama. She is now accused of disturbing public order.

Virginia Governor signs law on the right to contraception

Democratic Gov. Abigail Spanberger has officially signed a new law that prevents state and local governments from passing or enforcing laws restricting the obtaining of contraceptives. Notably, former Republican Governor Glenn Youngkin previously vetoed similar legislation.

Tennessee school board member calls student ‘hot’

During a live-streamed board meeting, Keith Ervin wrapped his arm around a high school student sitting next to him and said, “God, you’re hot. You know that? Damn. Where do you go to school?” Ervin later claimed that he didn’t mean “hot” in terms of physical appearance. Ervin was censured (a formal condemnation) but is still a member of the board of directors.

Lebanon conflict leads to mental health crisis for displaced women

Israel has been bombing Lebanon for weeks now, but on Wednesday it upped the ante and struck densely populated residential areas of the capital, killing more than 300 people in 10 minutes. UN Women estimates that a quarter of all women and girls in the country have been displaced since March 2 and that the conflict is causing a mental health crisis.

Northern Ireland introduces two-week paid leave after miscarriage

It is the first region in the UK to provide paid bereavement leave to parents who have miscarried before 24 weeks. Paid leave for miscarriage varies around the world: India offers six weeks, New Zealand three days, and the United States obviously offers none.

McDonald’s CEO Blamed His Little Hamburger Bite on His Mom

A clip of Chris Kempczinski eating a tiny bite of his company’s “product” and looking like he hates it recently went viral. He told the Wall Street Journal that he doesn’t hate McDonald’s, it’s just that his mother taught him not to talk with his mouth full.

Remember: calling for a ceasefire is bad, but rape jokes are okay.

That would certainly seem so, given that Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy will be hosting an event at New York’s prestigious 92nd Street Y later this year. Portnoy has made rape jokes, faced credible accusations of sexual misconduct (he claims the encounters were consensual), and called for the bombing of Greta Thunberg. Apparently it’s good for 92NY. What is wrong is speaking on behalf of the Palestinians. In late October 2023, the center abruptly canceled an event with Pulitzer Prize winner Viet Thanh Nguyen because Nguyen had signed an open letter expressing empathy “with both Palestinians and Israelis” and calling for a ceasefire in Gaza.

The week in Pawtriarchy

A pet rabbit called Flopsy disappeared from his home in the UK four years ago. His family gave up on his return home until an Easter miracle occurred. On Easter Sunday, they saw a post on Facebook about a rabbit that had been found in a field near their home and, lo and behold, it was Flopsy. Stay put now, Flopsy, no more rabbit business.