Gay Muslim influencer hosts inclusive Ramadan meal and calls for acceptance across faiths

BERLIN (AP) — Ali Darwish, a gay Muslim influencer in Berlin, takes a date on his plate, takes a sip of water and addresses the 15 friends sitting around the table breaking their Ramadan fast with him.

The 33-year-old German with Palestinian and Lebanese roots – who goes by @alifragt or “Ali Asks” on Instagram – has a growing number of followers on Instagram, where he draws attention to the difficulties of living as a young queer Muslim and calls for more tolerance and inclusiveness.

“Tonight we want to send the message that no matter where a person comes from, no matter who that person loves, no matter how queer they are, they can’t be too queer… because they are exactly the way they should be,” Darwish says, smiling at the diverse group of Muslims and Christians, Germans and immigrants, gays and straights sharing this meal with him as the sun sets over Berlin.

“I am a believer, I believe in God and I find Islam beautiful, just like Christianity or Judaism and many other religions,” he says. But he adds that it’s not always easy for gay people to be accepted, not just for Muslims but also for queer Christians and believers of many other religions.

Indeed, attacks against LGBTQ+ people and gay-friendly establishments are increasing throughout Germany, including in Berlin, a city historically favorable to this community.

According to the latest figures for 2024, violence targeting LGBTQ+ people increased by 40% in 12 of Germany’s 16 federal states compared to 2023, according to the Association of Advice Centers for Victims of Far-Right, Racist and Anti-Semitic Violence.

Darwish calls for inclusion of gay Muslims

In one of his Instagram videos, Darwish sits alone on a table during Ramadan and talks about the loneliness some gay Muslims face when they are rejected by their families. It makes life difficult, he says, especially during the holidays which are generally a time of conviviality.

He calls on people to open their hearts and doors to gay Muslims so that they are not alone for Iftar, the evening meal of Ramadan.

And for his gay followers, he also has a message on Instagram: “You deserve to break your fast surrounded by people who accept you – fully and unconditionally. »

Darwish’s coming out a few years ago wasn’t easy.

When he told his mother, she didn’t want to believe him at first, then she cried and they didn’t speak for six months. Many other members of his extended family were also surprised.

“From one day to the next, I was no longer invited. Not just to Ramadan, but also to family celebrations, and it was a very difficult time for me,” he told The Associated Press in an interview this week.

Friends who step up when your family avoids you

Although Darwish and his mother get along very well now, he said it helped him immensely as his friends stepped up and became a sort of family to him, supporting and accepting him.

For this week’s “real life” Iftar in Berlin, her friend Randa Weiser, 40, a German-Palestinian influencer who shares her daily life with her three children and husband on social media under the handle @randa_and_the_gang, opened her home for Ali and her friends.

She prepared a feast of freekeh soup, yellow rice flavored with almonds, raisins and cardamom, grilled chicken drumsticks and a variety of goodies for dessert.

“It’s an absolutely colorful mix tonight,” she said, referring to the crowd around the Iftar table. Even though most people are German, many of their families come from faraway countries like Jordan, Lebanon and Morocco, Turkey, Chechnya and Syria, Iran and Peru.

Weiser said she received “some hate” on Instagram when she posted earlier today that she was about to host an inclusive Iftar, but more importantly, she says her followers agree that “you can be Muslim and gay or lesbian.”

As the crowd — many of them influencers as well — dug into Weiser’s food, they didn’t miss an opportunity to film each other and quickly post it to their accounts.

One of them, Haidar Darwish, a good friend of Darwish, a belly dancer and artist who came from Syria in 2016, dressed for the occasion in a red fez and a white gallabiyah embroidered with gold.

“Hate and crimes against women, Muslims, Jews as well, and my queer and trans brothers and sisters have increased,” said Darwish, who goes by @thedarvishofficial on Instagram.

“But no matter how much hatred others show us, we can only show more love if we believe in ourselves,” he said, adding that they will do well as long as they have “help from our allies, our friends and the people who support us.”