What is looksmaxxing, how parents can talk to their sons about it : NPR

Young boys are being encouraged to engage in risky behavior in pursuit of the perfect body and face, in an increasingly popular trend called looksmaxxing.

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Malte Mueller/Getty Images

Scrolling through the average teenager’s feed can reveal a lot about their interests, video games and sports content to something perhaps less familiar to parents: looksmaxxing – a viral movement that advocates radically improving one’s physical appearance.

Many teenagers want to work out. But lookmaxxing pushes boys and young men to take extreme and dangerous measures – like taking steroids or having elective surgery – to achieve their goal.

Gene Beresin says he’s never seen anything like this before in his more than 40 years of working in child psychiatry.

The executive director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital says there’s a long, well-known story about how fashionable and harmful beauty trends have changed the lives of young women.

“But it’s been going on for about a decade among young men and it’s increased significantly over the last decade,” he says.

Perhaps the most dangerous of these emerging trends, according to Beresin, is lookmaxxing, which focuses on what’s called “the ascendancy or having the perfect body.”

Once hidden on the fringes of the online world, the concept of looksmaxxing has made its way to the mainstream. Experts say parents should be aware of their sons’ behavior when it comes to appearance: whether they are simply more interested in their appearance, or whether that attention has morphed into something more.

Beresin says she’s seen an increase in concerning behaviors from adolescent males regarding their appearance, which can lead to “significant physical and mental consequences,” such as eating disorders and body dysmorphia.

Born of Inceldom, white supremacy

The concept of looksmaxxing emerged from the incel – or “involuntary celibate” – community. One of the core tenets of this misogynistic movement is that the only way for men to obtain happiness, success, and sexual attention from women is to enhance their appearance.

Social media is full of self-improvement methods, ranging from benign measures – like workout tips and skin care advice – to highly destructive measures like “breaking bones” or hitting yourself in the face with a hammer, based on the mistaken belief that minor fractures will help refine the appearance of your jawline.

“There’s almost no focus on anything other than a person’s appearance in terms of their value as a human being,” Beresin says.

One of the most well-known figures in lookmaxxing is controversial streamer Clavicular, an enthusiast who promotes bonesmashing and says he tried to use crystal meth and other dangerous behaviors like taking steroids in order to achieve one’s physique.

Last month, the 20-year-old, real name Braden Peters, was hospitalized in Miami after passing out during a live broadcast and later said he was giving up drugs.

Another aspect of lookmaxxing that troubles Beresin is what he says are its explicit and inherent ties to white supremacy.

European beauty standards are central to beliefs of inceldom and extreme lookmaxxing.

“You went from being subhuman to what is a norm – or normal – for Chad,” Beresin says.

“And Chad is unfortunately the very essence of white supremacy.”

Proponents argue that poor appearance is attributed to the eugenics idea of ​​faulty genetics – in other words, subhuman.

Compare this to the ideal of Chad, depicted as a tall, white, angular-jawed alpha male whose looks and confidence bring him sexual gratification and career success.

Gaps on these fronts can be filled, followers say, by improving appearance to improve chances of success in life.

Look for these signs

For parents who think their sons might be involved in lookmaxxing, here are some things to watch out for.

“Are they complaining about not being pretty enough? Are they comparing themselves to others? Is there a change in their eating habits?” Beresin says, adding that children, in extreme cases, might even seek surgery to “fix” perceived wrongs in their bodies.

Jawline surgery is particularly popular within the looksmaxxing community to create the perfect face.

According to Beresin, young adolescents are “extraordinarily vulnerable.”

He says early intervention is the best medicine, suggesting parents and guardians start talking to their children about their appearance and self-esteem as early as kindergarten and approach them with genuine curiosity.

“The more we talk about how you feel, how you look — engaging, listening, validating, non-judgmental, non-critical, it becomes a fabric of the relationship,” Beresin says. “So if you haven’t started yet, there’s no time like the present.”

Breaking down the walls of adolescence

But getting your kids to open up, especially boys, isn’t always easy.

Valerie Adams-Bass is an assistant professor of childhood studies at Rutgers University. Her research focuses on identity, body image and media among adolescents, and particularly on the mental health of black youth.

She says social norms still make it difficult for some boys to express their feelings.

“Men aren’t socialized at home – and certainly not in peer groups – to say, ‘I’m having a rough day,’ are they? … They’re just not socialized that way compared to girls,” she says.

Adams-Bass says parents should express interest in their sons’ passions — for example, the video games they like — to help gently initiate conversations about more serious topics.

“‘Why is this the avatar you chose? Why are you choosing these exercises for the gym? Why are you socializing with this particular group of young men?'” she says.

“And it may not all happen all at once, but it will take work to break down the walls of adolescence.”

Parents can help their children quit the unhealthy habits associated with lookmaxxing by encouraging their creativity and helping them pursue other interests.

“Teaching them to code, teaching them to create their own websites, to create these third spaces where they are actually able to create what they consume and talk about what they consume,” she suggests.

She says shifting young people’s attention to something fun and productive can distract them from unhealthy behaviors and also have beneficial effects throughout their lives.